Hi IM's,
A few months ago, my husband confessed to me that he was no longer in love with me, and admitted to a bunch of things that absolutely broke my heart.
It was completely out of the blue on my end, but he told me that this was something that he had been planning for a couple of years now. Which means that he's planned everything out, and I am completely screwed.
We have two children together, and I have been a stay at home mother since our eldest was born, which is making it near impossible for me to find a job as I have very limited experience.
Since our talk, I have been trying to find a job suitable for around the children, as I am the only one who will be able to do the school runs, etc, and I can't afford any additional care.
I have been looking for remote work, casual jobs, etc. But I am not in a position where I can work nights and weekends (unless its remote work), as I have no one to look after the children, which is making it incredibly difficult to find somewhere that's willing to give me a chance.
We agreed that I could stay here (I'm leaving the house - my choice), with him continuing to cover the cost of rent, until I could find a suitable job, but I cannot continue to live here. He uses me for his physical and emotional needs, and I need a clean break in order to move on.
I have been looking at rental properties, but I cannot afford any of the ones near me on a single parent pension. I have already arranged child support, but it still won't be enough and I am really worried on how to survive.
I need help from other mums who have a low income or who only receive single parent pension.
How do you survive? How much does your rent/utilities/groceries cost? How do you manage things like car rego, or if the washing machine breaks? Tips, tricks - anything to help me survive out on my own with my two beautiful children, because we deserve better than continuing to stay here.
How do I survive on a single parent pension until someone finally hires me?
How do I survive on a single parent pension until someone finally hires me?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Money
3 Replies
I think you're making the mistake of leaving and letting him stay in the house. There's a rental crisis and single mum's are at the bottom of the picking barrel with stories of some mum's applying for 100's of houses and no luck, living in tents or squished in with family. He would find a place easier than you.
Heaps of jobs in hospitality right now, I picked one up very easily and the bigger businesses are able to be flexible with hours. This would keep you going until you were set up as a single mum and have child care etc organised then try and find a job that you enjoy.
Get legal advice. You are still in shock but like you said he's been planning this for a while and likely got his ducks in a row, make sure you're not getting ripped off.
Don't take any crap from him. Don't let him make you think his employment is more important than yours as a lot of men seem to think. Think of yourself and your kids, don't do school pick up on his time unless it's an emergency, make him organise himself like every other parent has to. A lot of separated men can't get their head around the fact that they are their child's main carer when the kids are with them and still expect it to be the mother's job to drop everything for them so they can still work or socialise. Don't fall into it put your foot down from the start.
Live below your means so you can pay for everything, keep repayments and subscriptions to a minimum, only get what you need.
You can get a full time job and put the kids in after school care, you're lucky they are at school.
You will get an 85% discount.
It's very, very, cheap and doable.
It's the only way.
You're right, finding a school hours job or remote with no experience in a sought after area is near impossible.
If you want to move on and increase your chances of employment, you need to do this.
This is coming from a single mum.
Also, he can only use you if you allow it - stop doing that.
He doesn't want you, access to any benefits are gone.
Have you both considered 50/50 care? I don’t understand how a parent can just walk out of a family and expect the other just to ‘deal with it’ it’s not fair. Emotionally and financially.