How do I end a relationship without the guilt.
Back story is I own the house. He has 2 kids fulltime and one every weekend Friday to Sunday. Houses are extremely hard to find in our area. I want our relationship over and him and his kids to move out but I feel so guilty about it all. When he moved in he gave away most of his things to his adult children so has very little. I do so much for his kids but they are not appreciative. Sons recent birthday I spent over $300 on him and made him a birthday cake and didn’t even get a response from the child. He is 13 so old wnough to show manners.
I do love him but I can no longer deal with his children and his attitude. They are slowly destroying my house and making my kids not want to come over (week on week off) as partner gives the impression his kids are never wrong.
Right now I feel like paying someone to pack his stuff and move it into storage while we are both at work so I don’t have to deal with any of this. It’s beating me down emotionally and I can no longer deal with it. They are draining me emotionally and financially as I am paying for pretty much everything.
Advice please
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6 Replies
Does he know how you feel?
I’d say make a plan. Do not leave your home. Take tomorrow off work if your meant to work, and start packing his things. Get some friends to help you if he won’t.
If there a chance this could be violent, get police involved before you have a conversation with him.
Are you friendly with the Childrens mother? Obviously we don’t want children on the street, so give him a move out date and stick to it. The sooner the better.
Called link2home if he’s at risk of homelessness, and start your own enquirers with real estates. He should be actively looking for rentals however, be prepared he might pull the “I don’t have bond money, rents too expensive” power play… but they survived before you came along and they’ll survive once you leave.
Make sure any of your important documents are kept safe somewhere and that he has no access to your bank cards or accounts during the seperation process.
I would either write him a letter and tell him that you want to end the relationship and he needs to move. You will help him set up in a new place with some items to get him started but you want the relationship over and to move on. You want to do it amicably and respectfully. Please stop feeling bad. You worked hard for your life and you are not here to support his kids.
Start to get tough and care less about what they think. You can end this and still support him in moving out.
Give him notice now and tell him that he has 3 or 4 weeks to move. Do not accept any excuses etc. set it in concrete and do it. No turning back. Also watch your belongings once you tell him, his kids will prob take stuff.
If that’s what you feel like then do it. Take a day off and pack his stuff yourself. Has he got family he can go to.? Get your kids to help you but you need to give him some warning like I would like you to leave but the weekend or next week. This is your home and it’s affecting you and your kids. Just No!! No more!!
Does he feel guilt when he and his kids are disrespectful and behave awfully? Remind yourself of that every time that guilt floods in.
He has created this situation with his poor behaviour!
Yep, pay what you need to and get it done as quick and possible.
You’ll have to just bite the bullet and tell him, the ball won’t start rolling until you do.
Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first!
Your not ending the relationship because he treats you well.
We reap what we sew in life. It is ok you, to assert that he doesn’t treat you well enough to continue.