How do you decide who moves?? Am in a serious relationship and we both have children. How do you decide who moves in with who, how do you compromise? Living In different towns or from one end of cairns to the other. Children have to change schools etc and I would need a new job or work on my own little business full time. And I think I am scared if things go south I am giving up my rental and will be hard to find another one. How do choose??
13 Replies
It's Ok to live separate. It's a big risk moving in with someone when so much needs to change.
You don’t, you live seperate and enjoy life together as it is. I wouldn’t risk it. Re assess it in a year or so on and see how you feel. You don’t need to live together and probably better for your kids, his kids and your relationship if you don’t.
To add to this, he is prob at a more mature age now , where he feels settled with his family and job. Have a word to him about how you feel. He prob doesn’t even realise.
Wrong post 😂😂
How long have you been together?
Your concerns are very valid.
This will probably sound incredibly selfish but if I were in this situation he'd either need to move to me or we'd remain living separately.
Most single mums are not in the position to risk their family's livelihood or housing security.
In all honesty, if you're feeling hesitant or worried about your future, that's a really good sign that your relationship is not ready for this step anyway.
Well for me even though I had kids and he didn't, I made the choice to move with the kids dads permission. I was living in a small town where my life was not progressing at all and I was over it, he lived in the city and had a great job making 6 figures whereas I was making FA. So I did make the choice to move and move my kids schools. It turned out for the best as I got a higher paying job, the kids went to better schools and we bought a nice house. But I understand all situations are different and I'd be ignorant to suggest everyone can do what I did and have it work out. It's something you really need to discuss together. Good luck x
In your situation it seems like you wanted to move anyway so if things didn't work out with your partner you would probably stay in the city. It's a lot more riskier if the only reason you're leaving is because your partner lives somewhere else and you're giving up a job, contacts, friends, house.
Yes true, I did want to leave regardless which made the decision easier. But it worked out for the best for me as we're married now so just wanted to share my story.
If you're asking this, you're not at that stage in your relationship
Depends on who lives northside and southside lol
Sorry, couldn't help myself, fellow Cairns citizen.
If you’re in a relationship, wait until you have a routine that makes natural sense to make official. If you’re not practically living together already I wouldn’t move or move my childrens schools. You’re right your home, security and routine is a lot to give up as a single mother.
If you’re that far away, plan to spend the whole time together over the long Christmas school holidays and see how it goes.
Is it possible to keep your rental for a while? I also would trial living together weekends and holidays first. It took me three years to move in and held rental for another year afterwards due to trauma of past DV relationship and used it for storage. I could not go into anything without that safety. I am with a wonderful man so I need not have worried but it was such a big risk as a single mum who had everything else sorted.