Has anyone kept their child back and regretted it?
Socially my 4yo is ready to start prep next year, however I’m just not sure he’s ready emotionally.
He’s a saint at school. Out going, caring but does have a little trouble with concentration and a few speech issues which are being seen to.
He will be starting prep at 4 and will be turning 5 in April.
I’m thinking that if we repeat Kindy it may be more beneficial all round with just being that bit older.
His kindy teacher said she would be more than happy to have him another year but also though he would be fine in prep.
I have people look at me like I’m donkey for wanting to hold him back so I feel like I need a little reassurance that what I am doing is the right thing.
Holding child back from starting prep at 4
Holding child back from starting prep at 4
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
10 Replies
There is never going to be a disadvantage to an extra year of play (as long as he’s well cared for). You hear so many people saying their 4 year old is so ready, but they’re four. And in year1 they’ll be 5 and so on and so on, year 2 things get really hard and he’ll be 6. I would listen to all the experts who value play and the teachers who know the curriculum wants too much work from too young kids.
Let him go, it can only do him good. Don’t think too much into it and just go with it. Prep really isn’t too much and he will learn to read starting in prep. Don’t hold him back.
I was the kid sent to school as a 4 year old and was always the youngest in my class. Academically I did ok but socially and emotionally the gap got bigger as I got older. That’s just my personal experience though. As parents we just have to do what we think is best for our kids
Generally speaking boys tend to do better when held back and not starting prep at 4. Prep is not the play based program it used to be. There's lots of seat work and reading and writing. Some boys still need the rough and tumble type play. I think if you are in doubt keep him in kindy for another year. (I'm a lower school primary teacher)
Don’t send him. I was put into school at 4 years old and it was a mistake. I had nothing but problems in my learning. My son started at 5 couldn’t imagine sending him at 4 all his friends are the same age too
To add when my son started school he knew how to read so that’s what he’s up against. Prep/kindy isn’t playing anymore it’s learning he got homework and learnt so much grammar, spelling, writing so much more! Let your baby play and develop more skills for another year better he be in the top half of the class then the bottom half
I held my oldest back a year in kinder (VIC) she started school having already turned 6 in the September of kindergarten. It was the absolute best decision ever.
We have now moved to QLD where it is more common to start kids age 4-5 so she would have been really old for her cohort. We decided to put her in with her age group meaning she skipped grade 2. Because we have her that extra year of kinder she is social, resilient and thriving. Giving her an extra year allowed her to gain the social skills she needed.
We held our son back a year (tas) so he started kinder at 5 instead of just turning 4. We don’t regret it at all. He’s about to finish primary school and is doing great. I have a friend who regrets not delaying her son back a year. Do your research, talk to the teachers and trust yourself.
Absolutely NO REGRET 🙌🏼
First child: He was not ready. And I’m so glad I allowed him an extra year in Kindy. He would of slipped between the cracks. He had a speech impediment and even struggled a bit when he did start school etc but that was for other reasons (learning difficulties etc). He was not mentally and emotionally ready. The best decision I made because he is 18 and thriving. Heading into UNI next year and honestly a remarkable person who is emotionally, mentally and physically ready to attend further study.
Do not allow others to detour your decision. This is your child. You see them everyday and you are their advocate after all. You do what you think is best for your child. And if that’s to keep them in kindy for an extra year. You do just that and tell people to mind their own.
Second child: I am thankful Prep is in QLD. It wasn’t when my first born went to school. He is much more advanced then my first but I am more than happy he will start prep and technically be on of the oldest in his class. Because mentally I feel it’s in his best interests.
You do you mumma. Stick to your instinct .
Most comments here are pro holding back so just for some balance on the topic I will say that I have a two friends who's children are really resentful that they were held back and wish they were with their same aged peers for competing in sports etc and really dislike being older than others in their grade...being different...being taller, going through puberty earlier etc...they say things like "if you didnt hold me back Id be in grade ....already". You have to consider what they'll feel like as older children too.