My question is for Mum's who has come out the other side with their children's gaming, I want to know whether you wish you had done anything differently. If you could turn back time would you have banned their gaming or did they game obsessively and then grow out of it?
I have 2 boys aged 8 and 10 who are obsessed with Roblox, they used to be obsessed with Fortnite but I banned them from playing it. I have recently taken Roblox away from them because I worry about the long term impact it will have on their lives. I wonder if I'm over reacting or are my concerns justified?
My boys are hurt and angry but I just want them to understand that there are so many more wonderful things to do that don't involve gaming. I think I'm doing the right thing but it's hard when all their friends are gaming and it's all they talk about.
I desperately want to know from other Mum's who have been through this what the outcome was? Thank you so much.
7 Replies
I don't know, it depends how long every day they were playing the game? Ours are aged 13 and 10 and we set limits to game time - 45 mins on weekdays and 1.5 hrs daily on Sat/Sun. In contrast, my nephew has very relaxed time limits and is more prone to bad behaviour/moods.
My 11yo loves fortnite and Roblox but the screen times are very limited. Friday evening (1 hour), Saturday evening (1 hour) and Sunday (30min). This way he can play with his friends but also do a whole heap of other stuff too. Can you limit the gaming to weekends for set time?
You are doing the right thing. Stick to it. I am this mum too. My kids have only just recently for laptops and have no other technology, phones etc. age 15 & 12 and absolutely doing my best to keep them off it. They are new to it so it’s a bit of fun at the moment because it’s something different but they won’t be playing everyday. I don’t care about tantrums. They are also only kids at school without phones. I don’t care. My children and their mental health and lifestyle comes first and that’s my priority. You do what you think is right in your home and how you think it will affect them long term. This is all that matters. Don’t back down if it’s something you believe in. These games are set up to be addictive and our kids need to be kids to shape their future. I am a strong believer in them being outdoors and socialising. Gaming slowly takes all this away. Stand strong Mumma and do what you think is right for your boys. Let them be angry. I never got my own way as a kid by being angry. One day they will thank you for it.
I don't find blanket bans on anything to be particularly effective. I also think in your situation where you've taken away something they love, not because they've done anything wrong (or at least not that you've mentioned) but purely due to the fact you're reconsidering your stance on video games - that's not really fair in my opinion.
Gaming in moderation is a far more realistic and sustainable approach once gaming/tech has already been introduced.
My son grew out it. He is about to turn 19. We never had a blanket ban. As long as his homework was done and he was in bed at his bedtime we never had an issue with the amount of time he spent gaming. We never had to remove the console or limit his hours. He has just completed his first year at uni and rarely games now. He has always loved to read and since leaving school he reads more than ever. If he isn’t at uni or work he is home reading. He may game an hour or so a week with his mates online but thats about it.
I think gaming in many ways can be so destructive to our kid's ability to interim real life, and as young people don't always understand there are predators or adults who don't want the best for them. i have cut the kids off , then slow and in a very controlled manner let them have a bit of time. My issue is we have to teach them self moderation, tech is in every pet of their lives so it's okay but it can't be the only reason you get up . when my kids where younger i also made sure they where in sport or activities that had them working with other kids, keep up social skills. I am not pro gaming but also realise many kids love it so this was our compromise. I will state though no consoles / tvs in bed rooms only communal spaces
Unfortunately this is the way these kids socialise and communicate when not in person, I think the key is limits and balance not a complete ban. Playing a game for 45 minutes a day is not going to impact the rest of their lives, this is your opportunity to teach them balance and variety to enjoy many things not just one.