Help
Does anyone have information, fact based research about children under the age of 5 doing 50/50 shared care?
Is it beneficial for them to be away from their mother this much.
My ex owns his own business and works very long hours out of the home 8-14 hours a day sometimes more. He wants 50/50 care and for his new girlfriend to do the lions share of parenting.
This is to cut down on child support and to hurt me.
I have bipolar and he claims I'm unfit to be a mother, funny how this was only a problem for him when we split.
Any help greatly appreciated.
4 Replies
Do mother provide 24/7 care? Does she work and have the children in childcare? How is this any different from father working to provide?
Im always reluctant to comment on any of these questions as I know my bashing, by keyboard warriors will likely happen.. But Im so over majority of people constantly bashing the dad and it always being his fault. Remember ladies we are hearing only 1 version of all stories. Dads would be different and the truth likely somewhere in the middle. Why is his concerns about your parenting ability now he isn't there any less justified as yours about his long work hours? I'm going to assume you didn't mind all the hours he worked to support you both while you were together?
Him wanting his child 50/50 is not too much to ask at all. At 5 the child will be able to understand more than you are probably willing to accept.
Do you have your child 100% of the time on your own? No child care, no grandparents, no school... what dad does when his child is with him is none of your business! Just as what you do is none of his. Your new partner (if you have one) help you in any way? If yes please stop being a hypocrite, grow up, put your feelings about dad aside and let him have a relationship with his child. Your child sees more than you realise!
I am always reluctant to reply to these types of posts but here goes.
Stop bashing dad's. Stop saying they do things to get back at the mum. Maybe they want time with the child.
My husband's ex tried the whole it's not beneficial for my child to be away from her mother for this long. Both parents, mum and dad, are beneficial for the child to be around. Neither one, is more beneficial than the other especially by the age of 5.
We had to fight so hard to get 50/50 care of my step daughter. She was 5 at the time, she has just turned 18. My husband worked full time, also long hours, I only worked part time. I did the school run, made the lunches, cooked the meals etc. This does not mean I did the lion's share of the parenting. This did not mean he didn't care for his child or that I did the majority of the care. From the moment he came home from work, his daughter was his focus. He did homework, bath and bedtime routine. Got her up and dressed in the mornings etc.
It's the same as any household. Everyone pitches in. We all care for the kids as our schedule allows. No one is shirking their responsibilities. It would be the same if you were still together. You would share the responsibility of raising your child.
So please, before you bash a dad, stop and think. Dad's have just as many rights as mums. Equal rights. They are both parents. Dad's want time with the kids. As much time as the mums get. For many years the dad's have been at a disadvantage just because they are the dad. There are some absolutely wonderful father's out there who fight tooth and nail for access to their children. Not to hurt the mother's, or avoid or reduce child support but simply because they love their children and want to be a part of their life
As it’s his own business, he can change his work hours to accommodate having his child if he needs to.
Why is time away from Mum more important than time away from Dad?
It is his child too and both child and Father have the right to a meaningful relationship too.
We are only getting one side of the story here though.