Last year I had a baby and I also have a 5 year old son. Around the time I had the baby my son has become rude and demanding and mean. He also slaps, hits, throws things and kicks. He won't try new food so has a very limited diet. I have no idea what to do especially about the hitting. Does anyone have any tips? Thank you
5 Replies
He may have some underlying issues as this is the age where things start to Become more noticeable. It prob isn’t to do with the baby. His limited diet could be texture etc I would look at taking him to a child psychologist for some help. This isn’t a bad thing. I took my son at the same age and it was amazing what he came out with. It made us understand so much more then we ever thought. All the little things he was thinking of through the day, we had no idea of. Ask your dr for a referral and care plan . Honestly it’s worth trying even if it’s only a few visits. it will help you and him.
Thank you so much. Will look in to it
He's hitting because he doesn't know how to express what he's feeling. I can imagine if he now has a younger sibling (especially if he was an only child or the youngest) he might be feeling frustrated that the baby is taking up some of your time, he might be feeling worried that you love him less or he might be feeling overwhelmed by the changes in his house. Depending on what else might be going on (is he at kinder or school?) he might be overwhelmed and needing an outlet. Does he have anywhere to do active stuff, like a trampoline or something that gives him an impact, or he can throw beanbags or something safely to get his pent up energy and frustrations out?
Yep he’s expressing his feelings the way he knows how. Give him the words ‘I’m angry’ ‘i feel sad’ and give him all the attention when he does this, help him, offer him things to help him, does he need help with something? Does he have a problem? Does he want a hug or to help mum make a milo, etc. When he doesn’t say it, say it for him, ‘I can see you feel angry/frustrated/ left out/ sad’ your mouth is down, and your hands are tight balls. It’s ok to feel angry, it is not ok to hit someone or break something.’ And same as above, you tend to helping him calm first, then talk about the hitting, what could he do next time, who does he need to say sorry to.
There seems to be a lot of attention seeking behaviour and if it has coincided with the birth of your second child I would be suspicious this is more around adjustment and attachment. If you are not seeing any red flags before this then please ensure you tell this to the Psychologist as it's important to not have him misdiagnosed <3
Make sure you give him dedicated one on one time even throwing a ball or otherwise every day e.g. when the baby has a sleep. Ask him to help with things so he feels involved e.g. can you please help mummy by grabbing me a nappy. Get him as involved as possible and really praise him for it. Sometimes we get stuck in a negative feedback loop so it's important to praise the little things. Show him he can get more attention from positive behaviours than he can from negative, so reduce the reaction to bad behaviour within reason e.g. hitting is a no go zone but react with short sentences and enforce consequences e.g. time out. Pay more attention to those behaviours you want to increase so praise him alot. In a nutshell you want to teach him that good behaviour gets more attention than bad.