I have the opportunity to apply for a new job that would be FIFO 3 weeks on 3 weeks off.
I’m a single mum to a 4 year old, my mum is encouraging it as the pay would be life changing my daughter would have so much more in life and we wouldn’t struggle every single day. I’m just worried about spending so much time away from my kid. My mum would watch her the 3 weeks I’m away. Multiple people in my family work in the same area but at 2 on 2 off (dad, brothers, uncles). Would it be worth it? I just wanna give my kid a better life.
Working FIFO as a single mum, is it worth it?
Working FIFO as a single mum, is it worth it?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Money
18 Replies
Would your mum have your 4 year old? As long as you’re ready for your mum to have a parent like bond with your 4 year old, then go for it. Other kids’ parents do it, as long as they have a solid bond with whoever they’re staying home with, because they’re literally spending half of their time with them and half with you. And if that’s your mum and you’re fine with it, and you make the money to have a nice life and give them opportunities, it’s great and there is no down side except missing each other.
I currently live with my parents so they already do have that bond with her as I work afternoons, they put her to bed and pick her up from daycare etc. it’s just missing important moments that’s scare me.
You wouldn’t miss them all. All working parents miss things. you’ll also be able to be there for LOTS of things. Perhaps make a list of what things are important to you, so your mum knows not to do them without you if she can. Things like haircuts, ears pierced, tooth fairy?, School interview/ uniform shopping, birthday party planning, Santa photos, Christmas and Mother’s Day can even change date to accomodate.
Honestly only do it, if your mum is a good influence on your daughter and doesn’t think she can control the rest of your life. If she is good in that way then go for it. Plenty of dads do it, why shouldn’t you. You’d have 3 weeks home with her to do all that you want to. You can take her on amazing holidays in your 3 weeks off. Give it a try Mumma. I wish I had the support that you do. My only issue would be my mum thinking she could treat my kid like hers and changing her and having it thrown in my face. if she is supportive and in good health then do it while you can. Also once you are there long enough and get holidays you will get that with your 3 weeks off which is a good chunk of time off. Organise it over her bday to be home. It’s hard but it will be worth it for her future. Even if you do it for a year. You can FaceTime her everyday.
I would do it only if
1. My mum parented similar to me
2. My mum would back off and let me parent when I came back
3. I had a really healthy relationship with my mum
4. I have an end date, and plan to be out of the fifo.
It’s not something I could do long term, and you need to have a plan, your mum will get older, your kid will miss you and it’s not the same as missing your kids school event once because you were slammed at work. You will miss a lot, and that does effect kids long term.
I’d use it as a leg up, not a long term thing.
That’s my biggest thing how much will I miss. I live with my mum and she’s my best friend and has been a massive support through out my parenting journey.
Would depend on the money:
If you're talking about being an operator and earning 140k, then definitely yes. I would work out a savings plan, stick to it and do it for a set amount of time i.e. 3 years for a house deposit.
If it is just to be a utilities worker for 60-75k, hell no, not worth it. You probably wouldn't save much and after a couple of years, have nothing to show for it but lost memories with your child.
If you're struggling and earning so little that utilities is attractive, I would suggest looking at doing some courses and bettering your employment opportunities in town. Lots of single mums work and study to get ahead.
It would be 120k a year which is better than the 38k I get now. 😂
Don't pass up that opportunity, give it a go, you can always quit if it doesn't work.
Good luck.
Mum sounds like she wants your 4 year old to herself more and I have a sneaky suspicion this may be based on her own agenda to get lots more Grandma snuggles haha which is kinda cute but signals you need to make this decision for yourself.
I personally could not do it. I think I would miss too much and even working long hours my kids started to distance themselves a little from me. I learned the money is not worth it. My mother also passed away, work really took a toll on her health and now she's no longer here to spend time with her grandchildren. I left the job requiring long hours away from home after losing her. It's taken some time to reconnect with my kids and I had no idea how out of touch I had become.
However, your support network may allow you this option and if it does not upset your 4 year old too much as she feels secure enough for you to leave then that's another consideration. I would probably go away for a few days at least and do a trial separation to test the waters.
Good luck with this tough decision ;)
Please don't do it! The money isn't worth the time you'll miss. I used to work 80 hours a week and it was hell. You'll survive on another job just fine especially living with your parents.
I’m considering this job so I can move out and have our own space. My kiddo is a handle as is and I know my parents would love for us to move out.
But they'll be handling your daughter 50% of the time alone, this kind of changes things.
I said go for it, but if your daughter is too full on for them, maybe it isn't such a good idea?
Also what will you do when you return? You’ll have a deposit for a townhouse, but you won’t get a loan or be able to make repayments without a fair paying job, so buying a house needs a long term plan.
Your other option is to move out, get SPP, study for 3 years full time, use your great support network to get it done, then by time your child’s 7 you’ll be starting your career.
I actually know a mum who did this. She lived with her parents too. In the end her daughter and her didn't really connect very well after being away so much when she was young and when the mum moved out her daughter did not want to go with her. Her mum forced her to but after about a year she let her stay with her grandparents as her daughter kept begging and wore ber down and she remained there until adulthood. So no, I wouldn't recommend it. FIFO is not the only decent paying job out there. Maybe you could consider doing a course to unskill and find another job?
After reading all the comments and your replies I'm going to say that it's not a good idea for a few reasons. You say your parents find your child a handful as it is. She will be much worse once you start work as she won't be used to you being gone and she will act out. I can see that causing a lot of frustration and resentment on your parents and child's behalf. You can save money, sure but what will you do at the end date? You will need to find a more suitable job as you can't do FIFO forever and it may be hard to navigate that after doing a FIFO job for so long. I guess you could just trial it and see how you go if that's a possibility but I can't say I see any positives apart from earning a decent amount of money.
Doesn't sound like your mum is going to as 'on board' as you think.
There's opportunities out there to earn way more than 38k without being away for weeks at a time. Dedicate a little of that time you're willing to be away for into either moving up a pay grade, working more hours or shift to another company/career path paying more.
One of our mates is a single dad, he does FIFO on the rigs. For all that extra time.. he still has to drop the kids at school and pick them up so not only is it not more time with the kids, he doesn't even have the ability to go away and enjoy his time off by himself doing what he likes doing. He's actually limited to less time because at least we have every weekend, he only has a number of weekends a year that he's home or not enroute back to work. He misses birthdays, holidays, funerals, father's days, school things etc
Don't just see the money and get blinkers on. It's not what many think it is.