Earlier this week after weeks of me and her dad trying to figure out what was going on, my five year old disclosed to me that she was being bullied both in class and on the bus home. There were some pretty horrific things being said to her including that a much older child would kill her, as well as being hit, kicked, punched etc. she was told if she told us he’d “cut of your mums head” We got onto the school and they advised that all parties had been spoken to and it would be fixed.
Tonight, my daughter was excited thinking tomorrow was the weekend. When we told her she still had one more day of school her whole body crumpled and she said “if I let him kill me I won’t have to go anymore”
We wrapped her in hugs and she broke down. The bullying is worse than ever, she tried to tell her teacher, the teacher told her “not now”
I feel so horrible, my once vibrant, sweet girl has become angry, depressed and is Terrified to leave us. She would rather die than go to school.
We’re booked into the gp tomorrow to get her started with therapy, I intend on showing up at the school tomorrow demanding answers, and a class change (if she even stays there at this point) She will no longer be catching the bus and I will be walking her too and from school.
Are there any more steps I take from here? I’ve reassured her she’s safe, this will not continue and if it does to tell me immediately. Even if it means screaming till I’m called to get her.
11 Replies
You need to be proactive in showing her that you keep her world safe, and she is safe. If that means changing schools or showing up and getting on the bus with her for a week then that’s what you do. But that child will not go near her (and she’s too young to do that by herself she needs to be in the care of a protective adult who will enforce that at all times). Gp won’t fix anxiety if the cause is still ongoing. Speaking to parties, for this behaviour, and this length of repeated behaviour, and this level of distress caused, just doesn’t cut it. Walk her directly to her class tomorrow. Then go to the principals office and don’t leave until the plan is in place.
You can change schools or go to the Ed board if you’re unhappy with the schools action/inaction.
You can also have the child banned from the bus service. If they can’t behave then it’s HIM that doesn’t get to go on the bus.
The child will grow in confidence and see that things can get better when they see changes and the boys being reigned in by adults.
I’ve also called a school to describe the children in their uniform that called my child names. Because we don’t tolerate any of it, and my kids know it. They don’t deserve it and these idiots can be held accountable for their shitty behaviours. They listened and they loved that phone call, and they felt so clever to remember enough details to pinpoint school, year levels and bus number, and realised they’re actually idiots and we all know it and they’re about to get consequences.
Be firm, and follow through. She’s watching you, she’s very young, she just wants you to keep her safe and that’s definitely something you can do, even if it means a mental health day tomorrow and a beach and ice cream day and her staying with you until the school plan is in place and you can explain it to her.
We’re doing a mental health day today and Monday at the least. We’ve got a meeting Monday afternoon with the head of her year level, the principal and her teacher. She’s much more herself today and I think just knowing we’ve got her back and are going to fix this no matter what it takes is helping.
This is great. Keep reassuring her all weekend that all of those people care for her and are meeting to make a plan to keep her safe.
Why was she catching a bus at 5? Not criticising you at all but then you mentioned walking her, so I gather it’s close enough. I wouldn’t allow my 5 year old on a bus on her own. Was she by herself? This poor little girl. It’s not your fault and she should be safe on a bus to and from school. I hope these kids cope the consequences that they deserve. You are doing an amazing job supporting her and seeking the right help for you. A child psychologist will be a great help for her to work Through this. Maybe a book on bullies will help also. I’d change schools if they don’t do the right thing and come down hard on these brats. Also where is the bus driver? I know he’s busy driving but wow little ones should be seated at the front if they are on their own.
We do live close enough to walk (1.5km) but given it’s summer and 38 degrees regularly where we live she’s been on the bus to save heatstroke as dad has the car.
It is a school bus and only kids from her school are allowed on, she’s definitely not catching a public bus alone.
She’s a pretty confident kid and we didnt put her on the bus lightly, we just weren’t expecting a big kid to decide it was fun to pick on year ones.
That is terrible, you were trying to do the right thing by her. I can’t believe any bigger kids could treat a poor innocent little 5 year old like this. The school better do something it. They need to pull all these big kids in catching buses and get them to look out for the little ones and each other. It should come natural to all the kids in the same school uniform, going to the same school. Parents have a lot to answer for when their kids behave like this on a school bus. I would be furious if any of my kids acted like this.
Parents can ride the bus to settle their kids. It wouldn’t even be questioned for a 5 year old, definitely do it - if only to show her you have the power and there’s nowhere she goes that you can’t get to and watch.
This is true, it might help her take away that fear as it will stay with her. Jump on the bus and make it a fun trip for her.
Find this kid, and get ALL UP IN THEIR FACE. Let that little c know just what it feels like...scare the shit out of them. This is what I had to do after the school constantly brushing it off. Trust me.... it's stopped
I was going to suggest the same, I did it too.
i’m confused, she catches the bus but you are walking distance to the school.
I think this is fake.