I need some legal and helpful advice please regarding where we stand in a fencing issue.
Not anything that is fuelling the upset that we are currently feeling.
EDIT
(As a “sisterhood community” I ask for support because I am at my wits end with these neighbours, yet I receive some comments here on this matter that have been so unhelpful).
I would love to hear from people who have experienced this and were able to manage without spending on legal action/costs as we are not in a financial position to spend anything.
We reside in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne (Victoria), and have neighbours who have been renovating their property for the past 6 or so months. Just to add they only come to us when they want something.
They took my husband around to the section of fence that divides our property where there is a rotting stump. The fence overall is very secure and does not move at all, where metal stakes have been put in place along the fence line to secure its position.
The neighbour wants us to pay half for the standard cost (which I understand is normal standard process) while he and the partner pays for the extra height to make 2 metres.
The costs would be around $3.5K which we just don’t have as we’re currently doing it hard where I had to change my role to meet some significant changes in the family over the past few years. The impact of covid on Victoria changed a lot for my family where costs are getting harder to meet.
The way he is, I would not be surprised if he pushed harder with a legal letter to force action. He is loaded and wouldn’t care about needing to do this to achieve what he wants if it sent us bankrupted or we lost our home.
My husband is reasonable and would accept where things would need to be done, stating that the he doesn’t believe the fence requires urgent “replacement”.
However the neighbour wants it all done to complete their plan to have all parts of the property up to his standard.
These neighbours do not have their own family and inherited their beautiful home so I’m feeling at a loss on where we stand.
In no way do we want them to know our circumstances although they know we can’t foot the bill for at least a year due to other expenses.
The neighbour has also been very clear about not caring about his treatment of us and how we feel.
I have no desire to be friends with them but just having a respectful relationship isn’t much to ask which he and his wife laughed at.
It speaks volumes and I wish some days we could move but we can’t.
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Blaming your behaviour on ours is not true reflection.
Many people tried to point out that having a fence replaced wasn’t unreasonable given the fact you admit to it needing to be re enforced by stakes. Your financial stress and dislike of the neighbours has burdened your judgement here. That is not a personal attack.
I hope you can find a way to live peacefully with these neighbours! Life is too short to go to war over a fence.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I completely understand your reasoning but do you understand mine?
I would opt for a replacement if it was absolutely necessary - but it isn’t. It really isn’t.
The issue with these people is more than a fence.
We have always been respectful of their wishes when they have addressed things where it has always been on their terms.
My judgment isn’t clouded because we have had to deal with their arrogance for several years. Even before we had our children, the guy would only speak to us when he wanted something. And now his partner follows suit.
We never imagined life could be so unpleasant with these people when we have always been polite and open to them.
My issue I have raised in previous responses even on the IM page.
So it is unreasonable and irresponsible of us to spend such a large amount on something that can wait, when we don’t hold that amount right now nor if ever did, it has to go to where it is essential and needed most.
This couple is about show. There’s no care about how we would be affected in any way of their actions, and they have stated that too.
Now put yourself in our position.
Very different when you have to face these people.
If you’re so comfortable being so damn nasty to a person asking for help, why not reveal your true identity?
The public forum on the IM page have vastly different, non-inflammatory supportive responses.
When you have a home that you have almost lost and fighting to keep, and you have neighbours who demand your money simply to meet their preferences - you would also be angry.
They have been clearly dismissive and arrogant about what they want and have and couldn’t care less if we lost our home just to pay unnecessarily for a new fence.
You’re a nasty piece of work and I can only hope your kids don’t follow your ugly character.
We will continue to work hard to keep our home.
Enjoy your dead rent money.
Good luck feral IM!
I’ll give you my bank details so you can transfer the court costs thanks.
Maybe read my post before commenting next time. 🤦🏽♀️
Why own a house if repairs aren't taken into account on your budget ? Makes no sense .
Rent if you cant afford to own .
What an IGNORANT response! READ THE POST!! OUR CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE CHANGED!! We have paid all expenses until the past few years of covid.
My goodness read the content before adding irrational remarks.
You gonna jump so readily to your own defence within seconds of a post when this hits the page and people comment things you won't like? Might be best to delete this then as I can see you raging once you can't reply, lol
When you are asking for REASONABLE advice and receive something from an imbecile. What do you expect?
Our circumstances have changed!
Finances are harder!
Costs of living is higher!
We have selfish neighbours who couldn’t care less if we lost our home just to suit their demand of a replacement that is NOT urgent!
I ASKED FOR HELPFUL ADVICE!!!
You are being selfish - can you not see that. Your resentment of this couple and their financial means is clouding your judgement.
Your neighbours are not aware of your financial strain as you do not want to tell them. It is unfair to hold that against them. They don’t know that 3k could see you loose your home…
You have admitted the fence needs to be supported by stakes. So asking for money towards a fence isn’t unreasonable.
They are aware.
The stakes are used for added support but even without them the fence was secure.
Like I said, how does a family who is currently struggling be expected to pay for something that does not require immediate replacement?
All I am criticised for is standing up for my family all the while there is zero assistance from you?
Stop responding if you cannot offer sound advice to help our situation!!
Oh and to make it very clear - THEY ARE SELFISH!!
They only always expect things on their terms, in their time.
This is what we have had to deal with for several years.
You have no f^^^ng idea!!
Another commenter here :
If you already have ALL the answers, why the fuck are you on here complaining for, you bridge - troll !!
So lovely to have supportive mothers here. Such an endearing sister community I see here when I was very clear about what I was asking.
Something you didn’t care to read but assume I had all the answers.
If you don’t ask you won’t know.
So move on and get some guidance in how to help a fellow member of a sister community.
And why not reveal your true identity if you’re so comfortable picking on a fellow IM.
So amusing to end with “lol” when an imbecile comment demonstrates the sheer lack of intelligence about why one wants to keep their home when rent money is just as challenging as mortgage… if not more.
The problem with the neighbours has been so widely explained.
Perhaps one day you will have some empathy when you face similar - unless you’re the one recommending to rent. 🤦🏽♀️😵💫
If the fence is sound why not get a quote to repair the rotten post?
At least then they can't use the excuse the fence needs replacing.
Absolutely agree! Tell him you'll go halves to remove the rotten stump (shouldn't be very much) but stand your ground on not paying for half a fence OP.
Thanks for the suggestion.
He is dead set on the whole fence. My husband suggested other ways around it but he’s adamant he wants a new fence. It’s so frustrating.
Yes, but I think you'll find your obligation will be very different between replacing a fence needing work or replacing a perfect fence because he wants to.
Do the DIY and when he winges for the new fence just tell him to leave the existing fence as is and build the fence he wants on his side of the property line. You'll see how much he wants it when it costs him the use of a small portion of his yard.
From my understanding he would need to remove the fence to build a new one. I know he will never build one beside the current one as it needs to be built along the boundary line where the current fence is situated.
Also we have done all we can with the introduction of the odd stake over time to secure the fence a little more.
He has left the post to rot as it’s on his side and refuses to do anything to it.
We dealt with this unfortunately you have to pay half of the fence cost but being they want it done they need to agree to reasonable means of payment eg a payment plan
I am hoping it will be agreed upon t that it isn’t necessary for several months.
I had this happen a few years ago but I was renting at the time and said I don't give a shit about the fence as I'm not going to be here forever so I'm not happy to pay half. He asked for the real estates number which I gave to him. After a few days he came back saying the real estate and landlord have refused to pay and would we be able to foot the bill for at least the materials. I said no because he wants the fence not me (there was no damage to the existing fence, he just wanted a new one) in the end he said he will pay for the whole thing and just did it but he left all the old fence remains in my yard 🙄
I'm sorry you're getting such negative comments. 3.5k is a lot of money and to be frank, it's a fence...it's not like it's a life of death necessity even if it's damaged. Without seeing the fence I can't judge on the damage but I hope you've gotten good legal advice and I wouldn't let these comments get you down. I feel you've been reasonable in saying you'd be willing to wait a few months to see if your finances improve. I would not agree to pay for a fence that you don't even want.
I needed to read this comment thank you.
I have tried to explain so often and some people are just downright nasty and ignorant about financial struggles. Expecting we should give up our home if we can’t pay extra costs… my goodness! Who would expect circumstances to change as they have? So many are hurt by the changes and my husband is stressed which adds to mine.
You would think a sister community would mean really taking the time to understand and rally together to lift that person with helpful guidance.
I know I lost it with some which never helps BUT there were several completely ignorant and feral people taking swipes at my situation.
This attacking can be enough to send a person six feet under of they were so stressed.
Some women are just damn awful.
Also in response to your situation. I don’t understand why the realestate and owners would think you’d be happy to pay for materials. You know they left you in the middle to deal with a problem that wasn’t ever going to be yours. That’s so disappointing.
Did you end up leaving the remaining fence pieces for the home owner to deal with? After all they left you to deal with the pathetic neighbour.
The real estate were on my side thankfully in not wanting to pay. It was the neighbour who came to a "compromise" that I just pay for materials. My dad took the remaining fence for fire wood so that was a plus at least.
My neighbours and I had a conversations like this. Both fences need to be replaced. Neighbours To my left are the most beautiful retired couple, and they offered to pay my side and I could just pay them back if and when I could afford it (no obligation) or I could allow them to walk my dogs instead as payment (win win !!)
Single person to my right and I agreed if the fence falls over we will both have a bigger backyard and extra pets.
I adore my neighbours, I’m incredibly lucky.
Have a heart to heart and tell them what you can afford to do, and ask for an independent review of the fence.
Just another perspective, you keep saying they only come to you when they want something.
That has always been my relationship with my neighbours, I only engage with them when it is required/necessary.
This may sound bad, but honestly, I don't want to be friends with my neighbours.