Secondary school choice regret/anxiety
My son has just started year 7 this year and for some reason it is stirring up my emotions and making me turn into a complete anxious mess. Is it because I have to travel 15-20 mins when there are other schools closer? Is it due to my son being separated from his friends (he chose the school knowing this) ? Or is it because my youngest in grade 4 is now walking to and from school on his own (4 min walk) and he has been emotional which is unusual for him and wanting me to sleep with him?
I am full of guilt and regret. Could I have made this easier. All the other mums seem happy in their choice of school but I’m still unsure. He has come home telling me of bullying. It doesn’t involve him but as an empathetic person it signals a red flag that a school could let this bullying happen when it’s a school that goes from prep to year 12… this is also something I’m not sure of. Will it get easier? Or are these feelings I have chosen the wrong school.
5 Replies
Sounds like your son chose that school and you are finding it harder than him.
Things happen and change happens, but your youngest son will adapt, so will your older son and so will you, they’ll face single things better if they don’t feel your anxiety around it, and you don’t take one thing and roll it into a bundle of ‘see this is all wrong’. Your sons will stop telling you about things if you keep that up.
Please give it tine. Down the rack, you’ll be grateful that you did this. These same kids at the other school, won’t be the same kids by the end of the year and either will their parents. This first year there will be a massive change in them. High school changes everything. I suggest you spend one morning a week taking your other son with you on the drive and drop him a bit later. Give him that one day in the car with you in the morning.
There is not a single school on the planet that doesn’t have bullying. Your son chose the school for a reason. For me o chose a different school to my primary school peers due to subject availability. It meant travelling further.
Was the school a fairy tale high school of perfection, no. It was the right school for me though.
Just because he chose this school doesn’t mean he has to stay there forever. A school change isn’t a big deal, IF he decides he wants to at some point.
Your youngest may have issues totally unrelated to his brothers school change. But if your youngest is having issues due to his brother that’s a sign he was over reliant on his brother and you should get him help to deal with that.
Yes! Youngest siblings can often come across as super brave but actually they always have the security of having siblings, and take that away and you see the real them - this is good for him, it’s fine to miss his brother but it’s also good to build his independence and confidence when his sibling isn’t around.
Give it time, everything will fall into place and you know what, if it doesn't, he can change schools.
Set your mind at ease by knowing there are alternatives and solutions to any future issues.
I had the same situation, my son goes to a feral high school out of zone that he chose, but it's turned out fine.
He's happy, doing well, been there a few years now and that's all that matters.