My partner lost his best friend many years ago. The late friend’s partner was broken by his loss, and my partner has always been there for her and her kids. She confessed that she was in love with him, but he told her he wasn’t interested in her in that way.
Since our relationship has become more serious, she has really ramped up the love stuff, calling in tears, begging him to be with her. I’m not concerned about cheating, he could have been with her any time if he wanted to, and she lives a long way away, but it’s starting to get a bit much every few days.
The problem is that she is mentally fragile, so even though he has told her it’s never going to happen, as soon as she starts getting depressed she goes right back to saying the same things. Neither of us want to hurt her, but how do we get her to let it go and move on without destroying her?
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2 Replies
For her sake, he needs to reach out to another famioy member or friend and let them know that she is unstable and then he needs to block her. Him being there and listening is not helping her, and isn’t ever going to help her move on, it’s just giving her a glimmer of a chance.
The thing with the ‘fragile mental health’ excuse, is that 1. No one can solve that but her - you/he definitely can’t be manipulated by it or guilt
And 2. It’s better for her mental health to cut it off. If you’re feeling bad for her, make sure she knows YOU are there if she needs a mental health friend (do not enable access to him) but if that eases the guilt then do that, and if she has a crisis, call 000 as that’s all you can do for her anyway.