My ex husband and I have been separated for just over a year and we have just put our house on the market. I’m a mess about it. I feel like I’m about to lose my anchor and I feel panicked, constantly crying and worried about what happens next. I knew this time would come but now that it’s here I’m so scared about the future and my next chapter in life.
How have other people moved forward once the family home is no longer? How do I stop the tears and be brave about not knowing what the future holds? I’m 46 and we were married for 20 years with 3 kids. I’m terrified of living the rest of my life alone.
5 Replies
Break down all of your fears into manageable goals and prioritise them.
After the sale of the home will you be able to buy again, even if it's much smaller like a townhouse, duplex or further out of town?
If not, what do you need to do in order to get yourself that "anchor".
The fear of living the rest of your life alone? Change your thinking.
What do you need to do in order to ensure Mr Next is a quality human being?
What do you need to do to ease the fear of being alone? In regards to building your confidence so that you know that solo or not, you are the master of your future.
None of us knows what the future will bring. Single, partnered, married, kids, no kids, young, old. We're all in the same boat there. The only thing that has changed for you is that the person you thought you were doing it with isn't. Big change, don't get me wrong, but your future never depended on him. It's always been on you.
Breathe and don’t think too far ahead. Focus on each day as it comes. Get through each day, feel better each day as time goes on and don’t listen to the things you tell yourself. Like being alone for life. You won’t be but you just have to get past this tough time and things will eventually fall into place. Be around your kids, take them on a nice Hokies and have fun together. Enjoy some time with them and be open with them. Tell them how you feel, you need them around you. It’s not the end of the world. You have your health and kids, That alone is priceless . Focus on the positives only. It gets easier and you are better off than most, having your own house to sell. It helps having that money behind you.
Nice holiday
Will you really be alone? Do you have no friends, other family, kids etc?
I’ve been single for awhile and it’s really not the horror people make it out to be.
It can be liberating, fun and many other things.
Single people can and do have fantastic lives!
I think you're still grieving for the end of the marriage, and selling the house is a full reality slap in the face - it's like this is the actual end of the life you had for 20 years.
You're allowed to grieve for what could have been, and for what you always expected. It's all part of the process.
I was single for about 15 years before Mr Right came along. I dated in that time, but nothing serious.
I honestly loved being single so much that I expected to never have a full time partner, by choice.
I have an amazing bunch of girlfriends, my own house, great career & travelled the world.
You will make your own life happen. It's super scary, but you might just be surprised at how happy you will be in the future.