I’m a single mum to an autistic 6yo daughter, I have 100% care and dad does not see or help with our child. I’m so burnt out I’m finding little to no joy in parenting my child and everything at the moment seems like such a chore. I love my daughter and would never want anything to happen to her and would put my life on the line for her but I am so exhausted. I literally can’t leave the room without her getting into something and destroying the place, she has written on walls poured ink on my carpets she constantly will do things that she knows she isn’t allowed to do. I’m angry almost all the time and it is starting to negatively affect my health. I’m sick of my house being a constant mess, I’m sick of not even having one room in my house that’s just for me, even the fact that my career is being hindered from progressing as I have to work reduced hours in order to basically function. I don’t know what to do or where to go for help, we both have supports in place but nothing is improving. I’m so sick of being tired almost 24/7, and the small amount of time I get to myself is spent cleaning or sorting out all the other behavioural issues she has. I don’t even know what kind of advice I’m asking for I guess really I just needed to vent before picking myself up and getting back into again.
9 Replies
Find out about ndis and autism support services, you could be entitled to respite. It sounds like that is exactly what you need. Things are hard but my god they can seem a million times better with just a good sleep and a next break to look forward to.
We do currently have ndis, but it’s not a very generous plan and I don’t know what it can and can’t be used for. But will look into autism support services thank you
Please look into respite care. Some of these plan coordinators are useless too! The amount of times I have seen copy and paste across plans and plans that are outdated makes me feel angry. Make sure you shop around and find someone who is going to advocate for more funding for you and your child
Yes, they are pretty useless from experience also.
Have you looked into respite care or residential services for her to live in rather than the family home?
Do you have a backyard?
I would put a heap of stuff out there to keep her busy (cubby, trampoline, sand pit).
This will minimise mess and maybe give you some time to yourself.
Do you take her to the park to run off all the energy?
What do her therapists suggest?
Firstly, give yourself credit mumma , you are amazing ! You are doing your absolute best.
Few things maybe to consider.
Can you afford a cleaner once a week/fortnight/month ?
This can help ease some load .
Do you have anyone that can have her once a month just so you can get a well rest of an afternoon and sleep ?
Join some support groups/pages
Don't stop fighting for what you and your child need. Remember we Can't keep pouring out of an empty cup xx
You are doing amazing job just remember that! My friend went through and still is in similar situation to you. Autistic daughter and Dad not around
she would look at refocusing her child attention to specific activities that were set up in each room so for example
in her living room she knew her child liked to sort through and categorize toys/books/cutlery things like that so she would have a focus box she would give to the child to work on/focus on when she needed to leave the room
also restbite care and residentials (we live in the UK)
also and i know some people will not like this but she does not allow her child into her bedroom
that is her space and she keeps it locked and if/when child brings attention to room she redirects it into another room along with an activity to do
hope things get better for you
keep going you got this xx
As a parent I had a safe room. It was a room where nothing could be broken/damaged amd mattress on the floor.
I could sleep and they would be them with their interests. I could not get child care at a point so did that. If you can Id get even a day use that for you.
If you can definitely get into Early childhood settings, they can help and support you. Even if just to talk and work on strategies to assist you. I don't want to post about personal experiences but have worked with many families.