When you meet someone, and after speaking to them once maybe twice, what makes you not want to speak to them anymore or not want to become friends? What is it? For the life of me, I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and why no one wants to be my friend? Even as a kid, no one wanted to be my friend. I have never felt so alone. My heart hurts.
10 Replies
Awww you poor mum. There is nothing wrong with you. You may just give off the impression to others without realising that you don’t want or need any friends or don’t want to catch up again. Reach out to some mums and ask them to catch up for coffee. It’s not you, so don’t be down on yourself. People may think you want to be left alone or on your own. I would follow up with people you catch up with or organise play dates and hang out and have a coffee or something then wait a few weeks and ask again to catch up somewhere else.
I never kept friends for long. I was a bossy child, and one hell of a lier... omg the stories I could tell. Through highschool I alienated everything with my lies and trying to control them.... I didn't realise until an adult exactly why I struggled with friends, and some of the bullying I copped was well deserved.
I'm not a lier any more, I outgrew that. I'm a very supportive person but also very blunt and will tell it how it is, which people avoid.... no one likes that in a person. I don't see that as a bad personality trait, I'm not about to sugar-coated a situation to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
In saying that, I'm also quite Naive..... I will trust people far too easily and have had knives in my back once too often because I trusted the wrong people.
Iv learned, they quality out ways quantity. You don't need a big group of friends, just that one person, who is your person, who values your for you
What people who are blunt and "tell it like it is" fail to understand is that your opinion does not equal the truth. It's just your opinion and that's it. A lot of the time it doesn't need to be shared especially if it's just mean.
That's very true and I totally understand. When I say blunt. I will tell a friend when they are in the wrong, for example, a friend being a mistress, then being cheated on by that same person.... I was blunt in the beginning about it being impreal and wrong... this is the kind of blunt I am. Not so much, my opinion is more important then yours or my information is correct over theirs. A lot of people don't want to hear the realities which is fine. I'm lucky enough that my friends appreciate that about me and often seek me out because they need to hear the blunt truth.
Yes!!! This! I love honest and thoughtful people and surround myself with them. But I loathe rudeness, even when people try to dismiss it as being blunt or telling like it is - because they just think that being the louder voice makes them right. I usually just tune them out and completely distance myself from them.
I've never met a person who "doesn't sugar coat it" or "just speaks the truth" that I like.
They usually have extremely low social skills, zero self reflection and embarrassingly, can never read the room.
Where do you live? I just moved and have no friends here. If we live nearby I'll be your friend 😊
You’re so nice! In fnq 🙂
I have a low tolerance for other people. It's usually because I am so caught up in the drama of my teens I'm near impossible to be friends with. I dislike how bad I am at being a friend. I internally beat myself up about not contacting people who care more often. I would hate to think I made someone feel like this. Sometimes it's not you, it is people like me.. sorry 😞
Maybe it’s not you, maybe it’s them.
Maybe you have the idea in your head because of social media that everyone has an abundance of friends.
What you need to realise it that most people are alone and don’t have a very big circle, what you may see on social media maybe different from the truth.
It’s easy to find a friend for a season but hard to find a true friend that aligns for a lifetime. A lot of people find friends for a season through school , work, social events ect, however you remove the school, work and events and these friends disappear. Another thing people seem to socialise over is alcohol, you remove this from the situation and most realise they have nothing in common with these people at all, the same kind of situation when you have a child and you think you have lots of friends that will be there to keep you occupied but they go off living their own lives. People have lots of acquaintances very little true friends.
Then of course you have the girl who has lots and lots and lots of girl friends, generally that girl is a very needy person and finds her worth in having lots of people to keep her occupied and probably can not handle being with herself for long.
Don’t beat yourself up and keep telling you there is anything wrong with you.
I like to keep my circle very very small, I find females to be bitchy fake and not worth the drama. I’m also not a needy person so I wouldn’t be able to have someone needing me and my space and time constantly.
Spend time working out what you like , what aligns for you , your dreams and passion. The right people will come to you, but be picky who you let into your world ❤️