Update….have since told this guy I want nothing further to do with him. He’s told me he will make me lose my job and also tell my family/friends what has even happening if I even look like telling his partner what he has been up to. I’m actually scared
Advice please. I know it’s wrong but I broke up with an ex almost 2 years ago and in the last 6 months we have been texting.
He has moved on and has a partner and her and her 2 x kids living with him who are 15 & 18. He’s told me he’s not happy but doesn’t want to hurt her. Her ex she says was an ice addict and she didn’t have a nice life. He said she’s also had WLS as she had very little self confidence.
He says their sex life is non existent and he’s generally not happy with them being in his house but knows the rental crisis and doesn’t want to tell them to move out.
His messages and videos to me have been based on our previous sex live. He talks about how much he misses it and how much he wants that back. I have not actually met up with him as he expects me to be the other woman and basically have his cake and eat it to.
I know it’s wrong but how do I move on from this. I still love the guy like crazy and I believe he plays on this. He’s kept me interested for the last 6 months plus and left me in the hope that we may pick up where we left off.
For me I guess I saw that he’s not happy and that he would end things with his partner and we sort things out.
Over the weekend I accidentally called him and his partner saw this. He then blamed me to her for calling him and told her that he blocked me to ease her mind.
What do I do? I know what I am doing (even though I haven’t actually met up with him) is wrong but I love him and miss him. I haven’t been on other dates as I felt I was waiting for him.
Do I tell his partner that I am actually not the bad one here and was definitely encouraged and led on by him or do I just say nothing?
I should add I ended relationship previously as he was going through some things and i didn’t feel like he was putting in the effort I was
23 Replies
So you dump him because he isn't putting the effort in.
Now further to that small issue, he's a cheater as well.
Can you imagine how much effort he is putting into his current partner whilst chasing you?
Do you see what I'm saying?
If you get him, you will just trade places and be the one who gets no effort again, whilst the new other woman, whoever that may be, will get the interest again.
Add to that, he will have trust issues with you, because you have shown him you are willing to act this way. Of course the way he acts is okay, only you are the dishonest one.
Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Going through some things - now you know what that really means.
You fully know the answers to this . You're now the 'other woman' and you replying to him is encouraging him! Fuck IT off for good! All as this cheating pig wants is have his cake and eat it too. He wants her as his partner but wants to make a slut out of by wanting your vagina . How more brutal do I need to be before it'll sink into your brain? 'Rental crisis' tsk, he's a bold faced liar, and you believe him?
You're nothing but a potential affair for him. He wants to fuck you, and you know it. Stop encouraging this the only fucking you should be doing is fucking him off . Literally unbelievable, your post.
And yeh, I'll be sending her the transcript of all yours and his messages if i were you, so she can see that you're both the bad ones so don't think you're any better . As for him, who the fuck does he think he is? What's a grotty little worm of a thing. Yuck.
Accidentally rang him , my arse. You're going to fuck him again aren't you? Let's face it, it's what you both want so I hope his new partner leaves him . You both deserve each other, Lol. Hypercrites.
How do you feel about being the other woman? Because that's what you are.
He is probably bullshitting you which is typical when you just want a root. The poor woman on the other side of this probably thinks they are perfectly fine and has no idea.
He is selfish and a disgusting pig doing this all behind her back and not giving her the reason she needs to leave, how would you feel?!. Of course he would make out like he was doing her some kind of favour by tying her to some dhead just wasting her time. I don't know how you could love someone so revolting!
I would get yourself out of this mess and dump his arse. This screams not only do you not value other women but you don't value yourself enough to realise you don't need someone else's leftovers.
Stop texting him.
You look like the problem now. Stop looking at it from a romantic thing Iike your the one and his only. You're not, and he is lying to you. If he truly was unhappy it wouldn't matter. He would end the relationship and restart it with you.
Imagine you being that partner who your significant other is chatting to hos ex about everything from your non existent sex life to whatever... mind blowing eh?
He probably would do it to you and probably did anyway, not that it matters anymore.
So stop. It's over. Don't get involved.
I am so triggered by this post because quite frankly, my EX BEST FRIEND sounds awfully like you.
If you like causing trouble, the attention and you know he is in a relationship and you "accidentally" called his phone with the partner upset at you, guess what?? Is isn't team you!!! And you are NOT going to win. You are NOT the victim here.
So you know he’s lying, right? She’s great and deserves better than him and has no idea he’s being such a dog. And you not only arent repulsed enough to fuck him off, but also want that? AND you already know how it feels to be in a relationship with him while he puts no effort in.
Yes, he sure does play on your low self esteem. What do you do? Don’t even answer such immature bullshit. Leave it on read and move on.
So he’s playing both of you, and rather than manning up and being honest with his current partner he has decided to retraumatise her again and again.
What do you love about this abusive excuse for a man again?
Block him on everything and move on!
Probably have a deep hard look inwards to see why you’d ‘love’ someone who is so obviously a piece of cr@p!
Blockity block! He’s showing you the type of person he really is. You need to open your eyes and stop being blinded by jinx he’s no good either way. He’s not trustworthy and if you really liked each other, you would have been together still. Snap out of it would you! Honestly block him and forget about him. If she’s nasty she’s going to come after you and there will be all sorts of dramas. Let him live that way, he chose that life. Forget about him now. He doesn’t like you as much as you liked him. He’s not that keen on you. You are attention him and that is all, he proven it. Get rid of his number you are being foolish.
Just stop doing it! He’s not that into you and he’s a pig. Wake up to yourself. It’s as clear as day. This is harsh but geez he’s a player and a scum bag
2 words!
Forget him
He's putting effort in now for pussy.
End of story. That's all you are.
Get in to see someone to help you move out of this rut where you're stuck on him.
I know it's harsh but you have to see it for what it is.
If he was going to put in the effort he would have before you left him.
He was probably messaging her like this while he was with you
This is what I was thinking too
First of all you only know what he’s told you. For all you know he is happy and just wants you on the side. He will even use things like the rent crisis as a reason or excuse… and sounds plausible right? He chose someone else and from the time he did it should have been done. He can go continue to make the choice to be with someone else. Are you really happy to be runner up should they fail? Just the next waiting in line? Stop contact with someone else’s man and work towards moving on yourself. You know it’s wrong.
"Do I tell his partner I am actually not the bad one here?".
Mate, you are a willing participant in this! He might have instigated this little emotional affair you guys currently have going but I'm sorry you are still a bad guy in this story.
Instead of trying to convince her and yourself that you are blameless in this situation, own your shit! Stop taking part in it. You are in control of your behaviour, doesn't matter how much he encouraged it or led you on - you are a grown woman.
Let go of the selfish and childish mindset and do the right thing. I know you know what that is!
He doesn't want you back and he's not in love with you.
He wants an affair amd nudes from you. That's it.
Get some self respect and tell him to fuck off.
Have you ever been cheated on? Now you're that person.
Update.
Have since told this guy I want nothing further to do with him. He is now telling me he will make me lose my job and be going to family and friends telling them what I have done if I even look like telling his partner about his messages/videos and pictures he has sent me.
I am actually scared
You’ve parted ways… the best decision. Don’t get petty and involve his partner. He has more to lose than you but he is aware you are catching on to his game. Just cut contact and move on. If he can’t leave you alone don’t hesitate to go to the police. This sounds a lot like he may turn nasty. I hope not but just do what you have to do. Forget him and don’t look back.
Same commenter again just wanted to add that he is acting this way because he was playing a game and you are onto him. He is worried because you could “out” him in a hot second. He isn’t at all thinking about you just trying to jump straight into his own damage control. Block him and don’t look back…
How much power do you attribute to this clown? Make you lose your job? So fucking what mate, on the small chance he actually has that authority - it's a workers market. It'll be harder for them to replace you than for you to step into another job. You think any employer now will risk a competent employee over a dick saga?
Secondly. Are you telling me that in 2 years you don't have a friend or family member close enough to have told previously, as a sounding board for your feelings? If so that's pretty sad and instead of worrying about this fucktard I reckon you want to either build those important relationships or stop wasting your time with them.
You need to start worrying about you.
He can try BUT he will just look like a psycho.
You didn't send nudes, videos etc that can be put out there for revenge porn (or have you) but he has threatened to. If push comes to shove and you really are scared, speak to the police. Otherwise, he is just being a dickhead and doesn't want to have his home life disrupted.
And YOU are not responsible for disrupting that jungle. I would stir cleat and block his number. Even better, get a new number.
Oh god. “My wife doesn’t understand me”. What a cliche.
He’s trying very hard to be unlovable by being a complete arsehole to both of you. It’s really hard to see what you love about him.
I’d run for the hills. You deserve better. His partner deserves better.
Oh god. “My wife doesn’t understand me”. What a cliche.
He’s trying very hard to be unlovable by being a complete arsehole to both of you. It’s really hard to see what you love about him.
I’d run for the hills. You deserve better. His partner deserves better.
Wow, there's your reality check, he'll do anything to protect his relationship with her.
He's willing to absolutely throw you under the bus to keep her.
He has made his position clear and where his priorities are.
Even with WLS and her confidence issues (like how you added that), he picks her.
There's your karma and I hope he gets a taste of some in the future.
Lick your wounds, move on and learn from this.
You aren't your actions, there's always tomorrow, be a better person.
A tough life lesson, but I think an important one.
And good for you. telling him where to go, head high, you did the right thing in the end.