I have 2 boys, 11 and 7. Both are beautiful and amazing in their own little ways. My eldest loves sport and does swimming, taekwondo and footy. Despite this love...he is actually really struggling with footy and swimming, but he's doing well in taekwondo of all things. His swimming instructor said that we might need to give it a bit of a break as he's actually not coping atm. My 11 has some muscular development issues, which have added to his struggles. His little brother on the other hand, is naturally gifted at sports and he is getting the recognition for it.
And I need some advice please... I worry about my 11yo. He is not the jealous type but I SEE it in his eyes. He loves and supports his brother but I can also see that it hurts that his body cannot move like his brother's can. That he cannot achieve what comes so easily to his little brother. I have actually considered not signing up my 7yo up for footy as to rub it into his brothers' face...but then that's not fair on him either!!
My kids are so close and they love each other...but how to I fill their cups, whilst nurturing their spirit?
9 Replies
If he’s doing well with taekwondo keep that up, but drop the rest. What else does he like? Is he interested in learning a musical instrument? Robotics? Gaming? Debating? Find what he enjoys and encourage him to pursue that interest. Not everyone is sporty and that is okay. I have a very academic and musical son who isn’t very sporty, as well as very sporty son who isn’t very academic or musical.
Will Botox help with his muscles issues? I would just drop it to the one sport. It’s too much. Don’t make your other som give it up though. Just focus on his taekwondo. My daughter does everything and my other 2 kids don’t do anywhere near what she does. They don’t mind. They understand their different but medical issues is hard to take. One of my kids has a medical condition so she chooses to sit it out for now until she feels ready to get out there again.
Wait - how do you struggle at something you enjoy? I’m confused. It seems like they’re knocking his love for sports out of him by making it competitive, even swimming?! Can’t he play for fun?? The teacher should be able to adapt the lesson to meet him where he’s at. A kid not struggling is a them problem.
Also, does he understand the challenges he has? He has to try so much harder? How proud you are? The joy and well-being he gets out of it? Don’t pull him because it’s competitive - just find the way for him to attend where it’s not competitive.
This 100% it’s discrimination
They want kids to progress to squad I think... I think they don't want it to look bad for them 😔 they know he's struggles with some coordination/muscular development. Taekwondo has been wonderful, WITHOUT making it a charity, you know?? This 11yo has the biggest heart. He is seriously such a great boy who helps everyone. Cheers everyone on. I don't want pity, but just a tiny bit of understanding and encouragement.
Giving him reasonable challenge, playing on the right field, is not pity.
you focus on trying your best, and praise effort.
Also why is he struggling;ing with swimming (is it emotional, behaviour, or keeping up) is he in the correct swimming group?
Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, this is a life long lesson, if he enjoys swimming and wants to continue then allow him and discuss with the swimming school that they understand this, if they don't maybe its not the right place for him, swimming would be wonderful for his muscles too.
Don't let your other child miss out because of theor differences, this is what makes the world go round and creates wonderful rounded humans who understand everyone is different and has different strengths.
My eldest is 14, he loves AFL! He started a little older and loved to play but he wasn’t one of the best and got put on the bench a lot. It didn’t upset him too much until they literally kicked him off the team as they had 2 too many and he. I was so angry he wasn’t even 13 :( BUT he decided to try umpiring, he LOVES it, he’s great at it and he is still involved in his fav sport and he gets paid. He now plays basketball and is quite good