My (primary school aged) child wants to have a few friends over for a play date on the holidays. I really want them to aswell. But my anxiety has already kicked in and we haven’t even organised anything yet. I’m an over thinker. I’m really paranoid about what the parents (and kids) will think of our house and stuff. Our house is really small and we don’t have the best stuff. My child said their houses are big and really nice and so clean. I also really want to make some mum friends but I really, really struggle with fitting in with anyone for some reason? Then my mind overthinks again and thinks, what if one of them get hurt while they’re in my care or what if they get super bored and want to go home or something.
Clearly I’ve never done this before. I’m trying to step out of my comfort zone for my kids but I’m struggling!
Overthinking and anxiety for play dates.
Overthinking and anxiety for play dates.
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt, Kids
4 Replies
Just invite them to the park. That way it’s no stress, everyone has their own kids, and you get coffee and a chat. Just pick somewhere with good play stuff, maybe a fenced one so it’s easier, and coffee shop. Who knows, it might become a regular thing.
I agree with the above, neutral territory is good if you're a bit anxious (or a raging introvert like myself, I hate having people in my house 😆). It gives you a bit more control, eg, you can leave when you're ready, you don't have to worry about entertaining or supervising other kids because parents usually stick around in these circumstances.
That said, kids and parents usually don't care about how fancy or big your house is. I remember worrying once when my daughters friend was over because I was particularly broke at the time, my furniture was all second hand mismatch and i was in a tiny rental. I only had enough petrol in the car for an emergency so I couldn't take them anywhere, I had no money for tasty snacks, I didn't even have the internet connected at that point in time. I genuinely thought this kid was going to complain about how boring our house was!
Anyway, I prepared leftover tacos for them and let them go ham, then they made blanket cubbies under the table. I really sold this girl short because when she left she told me she had the best play date ever and asked if she could come back the next weekend. Her mum and I are still friends 10 years later!
Be the creative, messy, fun mum. Rather than the 'look how nice and clean my house is' mum. Guaranteed I know which ones the kids prefer. So home-made play-doh, board games, backyard games or painting, scavenger hunt, movie marathon with nibblies and loads more. Neutral territory is also great such as the park, basketball courts and soccer fields.
There's alot to be said for keeping the circle small. A good way to find out if these mums are your people is to actually invite them around for a cuppa. If you feel judged, they are not your people. Do not try to fit in, keep searching 💗
Hey mumma
This used to be me!
But living in a small town there weren't many options for birthday parties etc, so I did my best at home. Word got out that our parties were the best, and the kids do not care what your house looks like, they just want to play with their friends! My kids are now in their 20s and their friends still drop by, and treat our home like its their own. Don't let it hold you back xx