My autistic, very anxious, chronically Ill child is thriving at a private school but our family can no longer afford the school fees.
13 months ago I had a baby and my oldest developed a chronic medical condition (all at once our lives changed). I have not been able to return to work since due to both of their needs. NDIS help with the cost of therapy and resources but not lost wages. The Centrelink carers allowance helps a little but with interest rates and essentials going up all the time our family budget is blown and we are redrawing from the mortgage to pay bills. It is not sustainable but we are ahead so we could do it for another year and just hope something changes before we are in BIG trouble.
I have already sold the second car and cut expenses where possible (we don’t have streaming services, internet, no alcohol, non smokers, I skimp on food for hubby and I but do spend a fair bit on better things for the kids).
Hubby is working full time but he is also autistic and cannot cope with the idea of a second job.
I am looking for flexible work but it is hard as my little one is high needs with a disability and I cannot find suitable care for her. Plus I think we would lose a fair chunk of family tax benefits so working a little would not help and I would need to really push myself to work a lot to make a difference.
I am only just coping as it is with very little sleep and high needs kids with many doctors and therapist appointments. I am worried about my health if I push myself much harder.
I spoke to my sons psychologist and she was very worried about the impact of having to move him from his school. His health is fragile too and is highly impacted by stress.
Would you move your child from the school for financial reasons even though you knew it would be detrimental?
Any ideas of how to make $15,000+ a year from home without much expense?
Any ideas of who to turn to for help trying to budget or find flexible work?
Financial stress impacting child
Financial stress impacting child
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Money
5 Replies
Talk to the principal, ask to keep your child in their school on compassionate grounds even though you can not afford to keep paying. It's great your sons pysch is on your side, get that in writing as it reinforces what you're telling them.
Yes I would move my kid. Gee, imagine the change when he’s settled in a school that doesn’t cost you money. Fantastic. It’s why my kids don’t go to private school. Public schools can be really great at support now.
It's all well and good for his psych to say that but she's not the one looking down the barrel of a financial breakdown.
She's not the one who's going without basic utilities like internet service, she's not the one who's going without decent food for herself, she's not the one who potentially has to work herself to the bone in addition to caring for special needs children just to afford school fees...
I would speak to the school to see if there's anyway you could have your fees significantly decreased or postponed due to your circumstances, Id also see if there was any sort of funding available for this sort of thing but failing that, I feel like you really have to think about schools you can afford.
It's about being practical and keeping things in perspective. A private school won't be beneficial if you as a family unit, can't afford to live.
I agree with the other poster about the psych not being practical. Mine told me similar about something else that cost a LOT of money & I explained the real life implications and suddenly it wasn't necessary any more. They can make recommendations but forget normal people don't have endless time & money to burn. The psychs job is to support you in the school move, so use it.
Financially we'd all love the flexibile, well paid unicorn job. I've been looking myself, but it doesn't exist. Since you're both already exhausted - the extra stress will have an impact on your child too.
I think you need to consider moving your child. It will be a change process but not necessarily detrimental. Look for a smaller public school with good supports & SEN reputation. Speak to them. See what they can offer & have a transition plan. My ASD son has thrived in state because the school is known for supporting SEN students.
It sucks, but you're digging a financial hole and eventually you'll hit the bottom anyway & go from few choices to no choices. For budgeting advice it depends on your situation. There's the government moneysmart website & I think free financial counsellors through some charities.
It's all very well for a psych to spend someone else's money lol. My eldest would love to go to our closest private school. It's $25k pa plus extra for trips and camps etc. With 2 kids to put thru school, I'd rather our family not struggle.
That extra $15Kpa would do wonders for your budget and could probably squeeze in some additional support for your child.