My teenage daughter is really struggling. She really struggles to fit in and She has just had a falling out with her one and only friend. She is on school holidays now but she is already having anxiety about going back to school and being alone. I saw her wiping away tears last night. She’s also been bullied most of her high school years! I want to help her so bad!! I think she is depressed and is depression eating. Every time I turn around, she’s eating something else. Doesn’t help that she is also a bigger girl. I’ve tried subtle hints but she gets cranky or upset. She has no confidence and anxiety doesn’t help either. I feel so sorry for her. How can I help her?
Depressed teen with no friends - help!
Depressed teen with no friends - help!
Posted in:
Mental Health, Behaviour, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
4 Replies
If you do only one thing, for the love of god, please stop the subtle digs!
She needs to be valued and get unconditional love from you.
Take her out, do enjoyable things. Encourage what she enjoys. Speak to her about friendship. Mine has just gone through similar, and I reminded her that if this friend isnt her friend over one thing that happened one day (not something my kid did) then she’s not a friend you’d want anyway. And also that this one girl is not your everything, she’s just one girl, you can keep making friends and finding your place, whether you’re friends with her or not.
Mine also has her depression in her ear valuing this other girl’s opinion over herself. So, talk about what happened, and back her up, value her. Help her see things more calmly, not so extreme.
Does she want to move schools? I moved my daughters school for the same reason and she is sooooo much happier now
My children changed schools and omg the things they were putting up with. Do not be afraid of change, sometimes it makes all the difference.
You could also link her in with the school counsellor and year advisor for support. Explain what is happening and your concerns for her. At least then she has a safe space at school. I know some kids get special permission to hang out in the library etc.
I would try to get her in some extra curricular activities such as art classes or book clubs where she can meet other people in a more structured environment but maybe boost her confidence as well. Self-confidence makes a huge difference.
Do activities with her as well e.g. my daughter and I are thinking of taking off to a zoo, walking or bike riding together and I may take my son fishing. I am starting to realise I need to step up as their father is uninvolved.
Praise her and never mention anything about her weight. Believe me she is already thinking all those awful things about herself. Tell her she is beautiful, meet the need and she will eventually not turn to comfort eating. Even if you internally cringe, recognise the damage words can make. If you suggest or say anything you are confirming some of those worst thoughts she has about herself. Please never do this.
Give her endless love and support and she will have a safe space to grow and eventually flourish <3