My daughter will be 8 soon and her behaviour is to much for me.
Shes explosive and then some.
Shes diagnosed ADHD. I have soul custody. Her father has never met her.
The out burst are to much now. She has them with my parents too.
If you ask something of her for example to pick up after her self. She explodes. If something doesn't go her way she explodes. If she looses a game, if a joke is made. Sometimes if someone even looks at her.
She is so loved. She is so kind and beautiful. But she is also the death of me.
Today she told me that I don't love her. That she will kill her self and I won't care. She even describe how she will do it.
She sees a art therapist. Who has said she will be better suited to play therapy. So we are slowly transitioning until we find a play therapist.
I always get from her "stop talking to me" or "I need alone time" "leave me alone" in everything that is asked or if it doesn't go her way. She will scream this ans throw her hands up.
It's loud and it won't stop to she gets hwr way.
I HATE it! I'm sick of it!
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to get her put of this behaviour, I feel it's a habit. I have constantly got a headache. I'm walking on egg shells. Always worried about her making her explode. Tip toeing around her.
And now she's threatening to kill her self
What should I do?
Or do I crawl into a ball and give up.
She has been to behavioural therapy as a 2-4 year old. She's been to OTs.
She doesn't seem to care. She doesn't seem to mind when I break down crying or when I'm so burnt out im basically sitting in a corner rocking.
It's like she's a psychopath.
But then shes so kind to other kids ans out pets.
I don't know what I'm asking. Maybe just venting.
My soul is broken
Help! My daughter is becoming to much
Help! My daughter is becoming to much
Posted in:
Behaviour
6 Replies
Is she medicated? She’s 8 and barely coping with everyday things? She’s struggling. Is it the adhd or anxiety causing these 0-100 outbursts? You need to call a professional, report what she’s said today, get a better plan in place.
My son was exactly the same!!!!! It was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting!! I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything in fear of his meltdowns. I used to cry every night! We eventually decided to put him on adhd medication (vyvanse). There was a huge difference. He’s 12 now and much better, even when he’s not on medication. He still has his moments, but not as bad. I learnt not to argue back, it only escalates. Unless he was going to get hurt or something, I just walked away and ignored it. Me escalating just made him escalate. Get her some weights. Weight lifting, particularly in the morning, can do wonders for adhd children. A possible assessment for autism aswell. I know someone with a daughter a bit like yours and she was diagnosed with autism. Just a thought.
Just hang in there. I know it’s hard, but it will get easier.
So I am gathering there has been lots and lots of therapy around self-regulating? Social stories etc. At that age it does not have to be simply art or play therapy and there absolutely can be more psychoeducation and direct therapy around this. They can also give you advice on how to manage/behaviour support e.g. recognising her triggers and coregulating. If they have not done this, then they may not be skilled in this area and it may be time to look elsewhere x
I feel your pain. My daughter is now 14 and I think we’re finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Please please please… if she’s not on any medication, look into it. It’s a game changer. It’s not a cure, but it helps a lot! You’ve only got to ask any adult with adhd how Medication helps. Xx good luck, It’s a tough road to travel
1) Diet preservatives additives isolate any sensitivities such as gluten or dairy too. Ensure adequate sleep sunlight and regular exercise
2) family time &/or activities and things she enjoys or that express her talents eg) painting swimming ice skating
3) you need dedicated time away from her to fill your cup and nurture her and to be there being as patient and supportive as you have been. It’s an extremely hard job and very depleting and demoralising. So pamper yourself, talk to your friends do yoga etc)
4) get therapy-medication May help but beware that some drugs increase suicidal ideation. Therapy also helps with managing emotions or anxiety/depression/anger discomfort or the underlying reasons-i know it’s horrific to think but has she been interfered with sexually? Is she being Bullied? Does she feel resentment towards you/ your side of the family and why? Don’t hesitate to shop around and find the right fit/help for her that she can respond to.
5) hormones -as someone mentioned it could be related to her period partially/fully. Regardless, these will need to be monitored as she develops in to a teen especially if you’re medicating her. (I’ve had better experiences with naturopaths who are hormonal experts than medical specialists but that’s just our case)
5) would combined therapy help? Ie) you and her ? or her & her father?
6) in addition if she like to talk to a mature teen or adult “friend”you trust. For example, mine now ring a cousin or auntie who shares the same values but isn’t as “judgy”as me
I wish you the best as you can gather I’m still trying
Is she medicated? My son is like this when he hasn’t had his. Completely different kid!!!