I have a 10 year old only child so I regularly ask her school friends over for play dates so she gets time with other kids. I collect the child from school, drop them home and often give them dinner. Her school friends live close by and I get on well with the parents. However, the play dates are never reciprocated, although other children from my daughter’s school friend group are invited. My child does get invited to some of her school friends’ birthday parties and has play dates with other friends outside of school. I always get told that she was well behaved and well mannered. I’ve seen her interact at mine with her school friends and they have heaps of fun.
Any tips for managing lack of reciprocity in friendships? As it does get a bit frustrating when I’ve had their kids over multiple times and no return invite. Is it something that can be mentioned?
Please no judgement I’m aware you don’t give to receive. My daughter just asks me why she doesn’t get invited back and it pulls my heart strings. I’m wondering if it is because some of the friends’ parents are close friends so that greases the wheels a bit.
Playdates never reciprocated
Playdates never reciprocated
Posted in:
Kids
3 Replies
Just to give you a bit of perspective, I was always the kid at other people's houses.
It used to embarrass me so much when my friends would ask why they were never invited to my house. I even overheard some of the other mums discussing it once.
Let's just say, I didn't grow up in a home that was playdate friendly. Judging based purely off appearances and surface level interactions you would have never even considered this to be the case. It was something I hid very well, even into adulthood.
Just keep offering playdates as they suit you. Also, maybe just have a chat to your daughter about simply enjoying the company of her friends rather than focusing on where the playdate takes place and make sure she's knows its not a reflection of her.
People are much busier these days and as I mentioned above, you never really know what people have going on in their lives.
I tell my kids to make the plans. Ten is old enough for them to sort it out. Maybe if your kid isn’t actively making plans to go then it’s not happening. I’m never going to ask my kid to invite a friend over, that’s just work for me.
I am embarrassed of my home. So I never organise play dates at my place.
It may not be you. If maybe that they are like me.
Also work/life balance - maybe they are time poor?