Well it’s that time of year again at school, end of year awards. I know I shouldn’t be comparing but I can’t help it. Every year I see all these people posting photos of their kids with all the awards they’ve achieved and I can’t help but get a little jealous. My 2 children are in high school and have never achieved anything. I love them with all my heart and I’m very proud of them, but they have zero desire to do anything at school. Zero desire to put in any effort of any kind. They’ve never cared about anything and it upsets me when it probably shouldn’t? I can’t help but wonder what their future holds. Am I a bad mum for thinking all of this?
6 Replies
You are not a bad mum. We all look and compare. Were you a high achiever at school? Did you get a lot of awards?
I think I sort of blossomed in later high school academically, like yrs 11 and 12, but I don't think I won any awards. And I'm doing quite ok with life.
We are all so different. There will be people looking at you and your kids/ situation and thinking how amazing things are. Your kids will be ok.
They spread those awards so most kids get something. But no, those awards don’t mean anything. Actually, there’s a correlation with overachievers being set up for a big fail in real life when people aren’t impressed and they no longer get praised and rewarded for these things they do in school, like completing worksheets fast or scoring high on a test, none of that actually matters in life achievement or happiness.
So, do your kids have any passion for anything? I think that would be my focus. Find what they care about, what they enjoy, and nurture it.
I used to work at a school and there was one child who used to get every award for high grades and sports. But her dad was a doctor! Her mum got her a tutor and into all these extra curricular activities, what other kid even stood a chance? I told the school we should have awards for things like kindness, most improved etc but they only did really academic and sport based ones.
I was just an average student in high school and didnt really put a lot of effort into my studies.
I went straight into the workforce and coasted my way into the management position I'm in now.
I have a beautiful family, live in a nice area and have a pretty decent work/life balance.
My brother had a really tough time with school, he struggled with ADHD and had a major authority problem. He dropped out in 9th grade and had a few tough years but he's now 30 has a very well paying job in the construction industry and also has a pretty lucrative automotive side hustle.
High school awards are great achievements for the kids who receive them but that's not to say all the aveverage students or the kids who don't really fit into the mainstream schooling mould are doomed. Success looks different to everybody.
Life isn't a competition, it's is an individual journey.
Nope
This is where school fails kids
It’s for academics or sport jocks etc
The ones who get A’s in grades
Or the ones who struggle also get encouragement and help
Those kids in the middle get left off the radar
I’ve had 3
One academic As and awards
One sporty (and awards) and did non uni subjects and did tafe and had heaps of help
One who tried and tried and didn’t get recognized
School sucks
I am an averager. Would pass everything but never bothered with effort unless it was something I loved. My kids are exactly the same. So very bright but they don't care. My daughter had high grades and awards and then next year just did not bother. We had a conversation and she realised that it was due to her lack of effort. I think they get enough pressure from school and peers, so I am just here for support. She understands her results reflect her effort but it is up to her. I will only intervene if she starts failing and probably look at a tutor.
I went to Uni as mature age and received mostly distinctions to high distinction. I can think of at least five high achievers in my year at school who are now in ordinary jobs. I can also think of at least two other friends like me who went to Uni mature age and are now in successful careers they love. They will find their way x