Edit: Thanks for telling me I'm doomed, that its just as simple as working more. We have NO repayments on anything, NO credit cards. My son is high needs so working more than I do is actually not possible right now. I'm paying thousands of dollars for assessments for him, no NDIS.
Its freaking hard. I'm so stressed.
Hi fellow IM''s.
I don't really know what I'm hoping to hear from you all. Maybe its just a vent?
How are you all surviving?
I'm a partnered mumma, single income family aside from a couple of cleaning jobs that I do.
Partners income $70k pa.
2 neurodivergent kiddos, 3 all together.
We just can't stay a float. We live fortnight to fortnight and don't even make it to the next pay. My partner and I are living on noodles and beans by the second week.
You see, we have come a long way. Partner left school in year 10 due to severe family breakdown. So he's worked his way up to where he is now. I'm so proud of him.
Me, well I've got bachelor degrees but haven't worked since having the kids. For a while there I just couldn't afford the care not to mention suffering debilitating peri and post natal depression.
Now, with two of my kids being neurodivergent, working more than I do just isn't possible. I'm already an unreliable cleaner. Paying for the diagnosis of child 2 just about bankrupt us... I haven't been able to do it for child number 3... even though early intervention is best.
I'm on the public health waiting list for them but been sitting there for over a year.
And now with EVERYTHING so expensive we are no better off.
It just feels like we work so hard and never get ahead. We don't by any extras, no takeaways or dinners out. My kids have never been in a restaurant.
I can't even afford the doctors - no more bulk billing. I'm sure that I'm also neurodivergent but there is no way I can afford to check that out or get help. I got refused meds this week - ones I can't just stop taking - because I couldn't pay the bill....
Christmas is looking dire and with my 40th in January, thats just going to have to be a non event. I'm so stressed about what Christmas morning will look like for my kids. Santa isn't affected by the cost of living.
My son asked this morning if we could go camping on the holidays. Its just not something we can afford.
My husband is suffering from sciatica at the moment but we just can't afford any therapy. The sciatica comes from wearing shoes that don't support his feet but we can't afford the shoes.
HOW IS EVERYONE SURVIVING????? Tell me there are others like us? Do you struggle too? Not that I want others to struggle but maybe if it felt like I wasn't alone?
Anyway. Thanks for listening.
23 Replies
Are you guys registered for the Medicare Safety Net?
Public is slow but it is what it is.
Contact charities NOW for help with Christmas gifts and food.
Do you make use of food banks?
Check for local community gardens where you can have a plot to plant or swap time in the garden for produce.
Have you joined any FB groups for family meals on a budget? You might get some ideas on where to save a little more with substitutions in recipes.
Also check for local giveaway or unconsumers groups. Many people advertise extra produce from their garden or foods they don't want/need.
If you were to use your degrees can you get a higher wage than 70k? If so your partner might get a chance at being a SaHD for a bit. If not look into a side hustle, not that cleaning gig either, something you can do from home while the kids are asleep. Copywriting, transcribing, book keeping if you know how.
Depending on where you are camping can be pretty cheap assuming you already have the basic gear. If fuel is the killer cost pitch that tent in the yard. Camping is camping, tell the youngin it's a practice camp. If the kids really love it that's great, do it every holidays and they'll get really good at setting up and breaking down "camp" so when you can go it'll be stress-free.
It's not a replacement for the shoes but get some of that tough KT tape and hit up Dr Google for how-to vids. Use the heat and cold for the pain. It may buy some time.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's certainly hard times for many and it's got me absolutely fucked how an "economy" is slowed by punishing the lower end of the affluent stick - but here we are. We're all in it together though. 17k, 70k, 170k - it sucks for everyone right now. It will pass. Just gotta keep your face above water and not panic.
Sorry you're going thru this. My partner and I just had our first home built, plus for the first time in 20yrs , we bought two new cars. We've never been able to before. We are doing OK, but that's because covid was a boom for our businesses , wheras for others it wasn't.
My partner earns the same as yours per year .
I hope things get better for you soon. My 18 and 24yo boys still live at home . It's just too expensive out there for them.
I'm so sorry you're in this position. The cost of living has affected us all in different ways, and everything is getting more difficult, so you're definitely not alone. It really makes me ragey because it's only hurting the middle and lower earners - I've family and friends all travelling overseas etc. and asking when we're going... um.... no time soon!
Make sure you are receiving all the supports you can. Charities, etc. for Christmas. Other posters have already given fantastic ideas. I'd add call or make an appointment with Centrelink and make sure you're getting everything you are entitled to.
Make sure you are getting the best deals on everything - bills, etc. Some will charge you the lazy tax if you don't challenge them and shop around. For food I meal plan.
If you have degrees, can you earn more than your husband? He could get a weekend or night job (if possible with his health). Some states are offering free TAFE qualifications as well. If he's at home and you're at work, he could study (if possible, I don't know your daily routine).
Your youngest no longer needs a diagnosis to get early intervention. The NDIS has info on who you can contact to get supports (they do this now before they will let anyone ND on the NDIS - I have a child on the NDIS).
Camping. Can you borrow gear from someone? You don't have to go far - as another poster said - your own backyard!
Free activities - right now some libraries, councils etc. are releasing free xmas activity schedules. Check them online and book a few. My kids love them and they're free (and close by)! Some businesses and churches do family fun days, movies in the park etc. (just make sure they're actually free, and not 'free entry'). I also just take the kids to different parks, playgrounds, take sandwiches to eat in the park, etc. It's just nice to be out.
As a single mum who works full time, with a better paying job than your husband, I still don't have enough and am looking for a second job. There's two of you, sorry butyou need to step it up, use your degrees if you can, it's a matter of survival. We all have to push ourselves to get through this and contribute at full capacity.
Even regular nightfill pays well at the supermarkets, or some type of regular weekend work, to give you that boost.
I'm working by cleaning any spare hours I have. With my kiddos they can't do before and afterschool care so there's no spare time.... the cleaning hours I do are $45 or $50/hour.
Then get regular shifts on weekends, school hours, become "reliable".
There are places you could put the kids, I guarantee, local childcare places and you would get highly subsidised rates.
Also, allied health uni students, even teaching students, pay them cash.
If your husband died or left you tomorrow, I guarantee you would find a way.
Your husband is struggling, it would kill me to see my partner like that and to add to it, he doesn't even get to eat properly.
Us single mums of special needs kids find a way, we have to, to survive, start thinking outside the box.
You asked how we are SURVIVING, well the answer is, we are WORKING.
My husband and I both have full time jobs. We earn over twice as much as your family and we still struggle at times and we only have 2 kids. You need to get a job as well.
It's also about life choices and having kids that you can financially support. Why not stop at 1 or 2 kids if you are struggling? Then you can provide properly for the ones you do have, including essential medical care. I'm also an advocate for continuing to work in some capacity when your kids are young, even if you just break even, because it keeps your finger in the pie, easier to transition to more hours when kids ay school, keeps your skills up to date plus still contributing to super. I believe, you need to plan and be very intentional about your life to be successful.
If your partner hasn't had a pay rise for a while, now is the time to ask. Or look at better paying jobs. Unfortunately the only way to survive is to either reduce your outgoings which is not really possible in your situation, or increase your income. Everyone turns their noses up at fast food but that would be a good job for you as the hours are really flexible you can work around your husbands hours and not have to worry about time off for appointments or sick kids.
How are you all struggling? Ive never had more than 55k a year and I don't struggle. I know the people around me complaining about the struggle live well outside their means though, so maybe reassess
Everyone's circumstances are different. We are not struggling either and I'm not even working at the moment. My partner earns about 100k a year, we own our home, have solar, own 2 cars with no repayments. Our only child left at home has a job and pays his own way. We live very well but it hasn't always been like this. I'm not ignorant enough to compare my own circumstances with others and think well if I can do it everyone else should be able to as well. If we lived in the city with a higher mortgage and our kids were younger going through school, sports, excursions, camps we would definitely be struggling on that amount. 55k is actually a very low income now and a lot of people spend that on mortgage and utilities alone.
Do you have a HCC or pension card?
Our most basic household expenses are over 42k and the only luxury on that list is health insurance.
No cards or payments, I just don't buy what I can't afford. Everything I own has been bought outright. The way I see it- if you need a loan you can't afford it! If you can't save up and buy something then what makes people think they can afford interest?
Example
I know people who live in the city, paying off a 4wd,complaining about 'the struggle'. Why do they need a 4wd in the city? Why complain about petrol and money when you chose to buy a 4wd while living in the city? I didn't choose an expensive car to pay off and run, and if I did I certainly wouldn't be complaining about it
I'm one not struggling either. I'm lucky to earn a very, very high income, but my job's not for everyone..
I am the other commenter that owns home and not struggling right now. Not everyone buys a 4wd to go 4wding. They are safe, have more room for kids and stuff, better towing capacity. Newer cars have less go wrong with them, need less fuel and are safer to drive. They aren't in 4wd mode all the time. I live rural and one of our cars is 4wd and rarely been in 4wd mode only when we take it to the beach. We use it for road trips and towing the caravan, also gets used to tow a trailer and car trailer, all of which city people do too. It is worth getting a loan for a car that is newer and is safe. Older cars are not as safe.
Is that net or gross? There's always one that claims to live off a dollar a day. If you're renting, life's going to get a whole lot harder when you're age pension age.
The reason I asked wasn't to be nosey, just wondering if concessions were involved.
It's been a long time since I lived on 50k per year and it's certainly a different world now! Back then my rent was 100/week, water was free, fuel was under 80c a litre and 120 bucks at the supermarket was a full trolley and I lived large!
Now the mortgage on a regional house in a small town is 500/week, water is 720 just to access it let alone what we use, a tank of fuel to get to work for the fortnight is $100 without allowing for extra travel and 120 at the supermarket is 3 small bags at best. Or if I shop local a bag of groceries is about 50 bucks.
Kudos to you doing it this economic climate.
**and I'm much the same. I obviously have the loan to buy our home but have been very fortunate that I've been able to save for anything else.
I’m a single income earner w kids (1 adult household)
I earnt 60k last year. I have a mortgage. Life be getting really tough out here.
What I’ve learnt, save your left over meals. I eat leftovers every second night, and usually take some to work.
I’ve learnt to eat cheap. Like real cheap. Potatoes, rice and veggies and cups of soup.
I’m eating more out of my garden then ever before. I’m growing cucumber, tomatoes, peaches, strawberries, zuncchini, onion, beetroot and I was just gifted a potato sack (yet to get my head around how it works)
It’s helping a little.
I’ve cutback everything I spend. I haven’t done an activity outside of the home in months. We spend our weekends in the garden or going for a walk and take picnics to the park.
My golden rule; take cash to the supermarket and know what’s going to be on special. Can’t overspend if you don’t have the money. Try shopping at fruit and veg grocers first before hitting the big grocery chains.
Check the serviceNSW app and see what savings you can find; I applied for some energy rebate thing that took $250 of the electricy bill; so that was a major win.
I've read your edit and yes it is about working more or increasing your income. How else do you think you're going to get through it? Also if you really do have no repayments then what is your money going on? I know specialist appointments are expensive but you can't be paying hundreds of dollars every week? Have an honest look at yours and your husbands spending and give yourselves a limit. Your husband needs to seek a payrise or change jobs. You can work you're choosing not to.
Speaking as a single mum with a daughter with significant physical disabilities, all I can say is, youre blessed that your children can go to school, you have another parent in the home and a have a good paying casual gig. Be a partner, a team and do your share. Others would love to have your opportunities. You have a problem for every solution.
Unfortunately yes, the answer IS to work more or spend less. Everyone's in the same boat. What did you expect, were you hoping a rich person would see this & send you money??
Maybe get someone to go through your budget, it can help to get a third party opinion.
Have a separate account for *fun money*. Coffee, red bull, partner's work lunches etc add up to a lot.
I've worked out how much all my quarterly bills are, divided by 6, and pay that amount per fortnight so there's never any nasty surprises or scrambling to cover a $400 electric bill.
As someone else said, food banks & charities.
Bulk cooking for leftovers.
Make meals that you can add rice etc to, to bulk it up & have more leftovers for freezer.
Cut out Netflix, Spotify etc.
Find out if you're eligible for more Centrelink - carer's allowance, NDIS etc. Sometimes with gov agencies you have to push it & keep asking - 70k is quite low, but I don't know what the thresholds are.
I also have bad sciatica, I'm medicated & use a hard ball & roll it over my hip every evening, that helps a lot. Figure out what kind of shoes your partner needs & buy cheap inserts for his current shoes, just do the research for which is best for him.
If you are pretty certain your child is eligible for NDIS, I would reach out to a support coordinator as they may have ways they can help you. One particular service did offer services until official approval but it may have been a one off.
I did see a free financial counsellor through Salvation Army and it was a great help as they ensured I was getting all I was entitled to. I hope you are at least getting Family Tax Benefit?
If you are in NSW have a look at www.askizzy.org.au there are some great organisations out there that can assist in different ways