My daughter is 8. She's diagnosed ADHD and she is hearing impaired. She is meditated
She has attended therapy for years now.
We are now attending play therapy.
When I was pregnant I left the father. I didn't get to bond with her as a baby. I've raised her on my own. The bond has been strained but we are working on it hard.
Now she is a beautiful girl. She's kind and always says please. She's always quick to help someone. Or to pick something off the floor in a shop and put it back where it goes.
People comment how beautiful she is and how well of a job I have done with her.
In saying all this she is so disrespectful towards me. She makes it known to.
Always back chatting me. Never doing what She's told. Always arguing with me always having something smart to say.
I don't know what to do any more.
I was out tonight with our friends in the car. She is very socially awkward
She was yelling in the car to my friends son was sitting with his fingers in his ears. I kept asking her to stop yelling. She wouldn't so she lent forward and hit me. So I said right I have asked 3 times enough is enough stop yelling and don't you dare hit me. Everyone is about to see your mum very angry. And she said.. good let's all see you angry... then tried to make me angry but edging me on
Ugh.
She then kept licking the daughter. She asked over and over for her to stop. She wouldn't.
My mate had to yell at her. I let him. He knows I don't mind. He yelled deep and loud to stop. She stopped right away.
But for me she won't behave.
What should I do. I'm sick of it.
Sick of her showing off. Making a scene.
She's 8 now. But acts like a 4-5 year old.
She runs off and sulks if something doesn't go her way. And let's people know she's sulking. It's embarrassing. Everything has to be about her.
Is there anything I can do. How do I correct this.
Or is this just her.
I'm so worried she is going to start to loose friends. They are all growing up and she's falling behind. She still carries a stuff toy around 24/7 also.
Her/out friends are mature now. They are changing and she is falling behind.
I don't want her to loose friends. I don't want her to be bullied. That was me a child and it has stayed with me.
Does anyone have any advice
Thanks mummas.
3 Replies
Does the therapy include how to regulate emotions? She needs lots of work on this. I find Occupational Therapy helps alot as well to assist with the sensory seeking. It's not unusual for her to impulsively do things sensory wise e.g. licking, yelling. Sounds like she is sensory seeking. I would definitely seek therapists to help with some better alternatives.
I do know someone who used controlled movement e.g. 20 star jumps to get their child to refocus.
Remember they often misbehave for their safe person and not to take this personally. Some kids will store all this frustration up all day at school focusing on behaving and then meltdown when they get home.
Take note of the times she is starting to dysregulate and any patterns e.g. after school or transitoning tasks, if something unplanned happens etc. Anything that may be contributing to her behaviour. Ensure that you try to consistently keep routine and give warnings e.g. in 30 mins, 10 mins we will be doing this. Really your therapist should be able to give you some advice around all of this and a way to monitor her behaviour to work on strategies to assist. If not... maybe they are not on the ball. I could have spent many sessions with 'play therapy' but there needs to be some progress
She might have Odd as well. Or anxiety. Very common with adhd. Speak to the pead or start taking to her to see a psychologist.
You've been writing with the same problems for how many years? Comparing her to other kids that don't have her challenges. It's clear, you just want to press a button and make her normal. Add to that, she's experienced a chaotic life with you and dv. Now you've got some new guy yelling at her when the last one was so abusive, she started wetting the bed. How many years before you accept her for who she is and meet her on her level? When will you stop with the current approach and start using compassion and research her condition/listen to the professionals and implement appropriate strategies? She may not be normal, but you know what, the life you've given her isn't normal either. My heart breaks for your daughter every time I read your posts, the ones about men and the ones about her. Nothing changes when nothing changes. It's only going to get worse as she gets older if you keep on this path, the focus on men and the way you treat her.