After being single for almost 3 years now I'm looking at exploring the minefield that is dating again.... I'm a long time out of touch with how it all works and as someone who has 4 kids and a disability I have quite significant self esteem issues about my body. There's flabby bits and hairy "bits" and my body looks very different now in my mind 30s then what it did 15 years ago and prior to 4 children... Due to my CP I don't have a lot of strength in my hips or legs so I find it hard to "be on top" during sex and am not the most nimble or flexible to get in to heaps of crazy positions.... Prior to now I've only slept with people I knew well and were really comfortable with... But it's been so long since I've been intimate with anyone that I don't know where to start.... Personally I'm not a fan of being complete hair less downstairs, I have a preference to leave some there... Yet society these days say that women should be hairless etc
So how does all this work... If I meet someone assuming online, since that's how it seems to happen these days do I have to explain myself to them... Like forewarn them that I have a mum bod, that I have a disability, that I'm not your typical Brazilian waxed, primped and primed girly .... It's hard to explain and I feel so caught in my own head... But I just feel like I have to explain myself and my body to anyone new in my life because I've spent quite a while on my own..... Like I think I'm worried that if I was to be in a situation where things started getting intimate that the other person my be turned off by what they see when I take my clothes off.... 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Are you supposed to have a conversation about these things before you get intimate with someone or like how does all this work these days!?!
How does dating and intimacy work these days!?!?!
How does dating and intimacy work these days!?!?!
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Self Care, Health & Wellbeing
3 Replies
I met my husband online dating. First things first is you'll probably get a lot of messages from super young men...I'm talking like 18-21. So you may want to set your profile so only men in a certain age range will message you. Most men are understanding that women aren't "perfect" looking and that won't bother them. You may get some incels who feel they should be with someone who looks like a model while they're overweight and unkempt but there's a block button for a reason 😅 try not to stress too much. There's nothing wrong with just having a bit of fun without it leading into anything serious too :) but you do need to be upfront with your intentions (just as men should be with you!)
Who said women need to be hairless these days? It is a personal choice and if you don't want to be hairless, then don't be. In regards to the flabby bits and how your body looks after 4 kids, be proud of it. That body gave life to 4 precious humans. There is absolutely no shame in mummy scars. And if a man cannot understand or be comfortable with it, then he's not for you. Be open and honest with any potentials you meet but if they ask you to change, don't. They aren't worth your time.
Good luck Mumma :)
Firstly good for you starting to put yourself back out there. That IS a big step.
Now..... you do not need to disclose anything to anyone before you even meet them. If you do then end up meeting that doesn't automatically mean you need to have sex! Yes you will get propositioned but if you wait the right one will wait for you.
Not all women are hairless these days and my first thought is if I have to be will they be too? You keep your bits how you're comfortable and if that's not for them they are not for you.
Your personality, disabilities, quirks, water...they are yours and make you you. If a person likes/loves you then they like/love all of you. If not they're nit for you. AND if they choose to not get to know you because of these things then they were not worth getting to know.
You are amazing and there is no one else like you. Remember that. Hold your head high and do not settle for less than you're worth xo