I just can't do it anymore.
My 10yo has ADHD, PDA, ASD and suspected bipolar (can't officially diagnose until she is older). Also medicated and well I am now finding none of it works after 6 weeks of being on it.
No matter what I do she just doesn't listen. I have tried it all and even done parenting courses for help. I have listened to all the podcasts and read books I have been recommended too by other people. NOTHING WORKS.
I honestly don't want her anymore, I can't sleep because she gets up and destroys the house or gets into things she shouldn't. I have locked most cupboards and now waiting on a box I can lock and put in my room so she can't get into it with all my things as she just ruins everything and helps herself. I can't shower unless someone is here too watch her because she will just do what ever she wants.
She bashes her 2 younger siblings and myself on a daily basis. Everyone I know is at a loss with her because she is just so difficult. I have attempted to end my own life as I hate being in my house with her. I feel awful saying this because I love her and know she can be the sweetest little girl ever.
Most of the time we get good behaviour is when she has been up to no good and hoping she won't get caught out. I have clued onto that and she hates it.
What can I do? Is there anyone I can call for help?
5 Replies
Can you contact your local child and adolescent mental health service. I take it she has ndis and has supports in that area, can you increase her funding to get respite or support workers. Also try and see if an inpatient stay would be beneficial, it’s generally a whole family thing at her age, but they will be able to help identify supports needed and medication needed.
Also sending lots of support, I too have an autistic, pda and adhd daughter and have had these thoughts quite frequently, and it intensifies when I’m burnt out.
No NDIS as I have no clue how to sort that out. Waiting for someone to contact me to help me out with it. I didn't think to call the mental health service, I will do that thank you
wWhat professional help do you have in place? When it comes to this kind of complex stuff, the first medication and dosage is rarely the right one, it takes a lot of trial and error. It also takes 6 weeks to see if it's working, which is a pain, everytime you change medication. Bipolar in a ten year old, that's a big call to make, assume that was said by a psychiatrist? Does she see a psychologist to talk to? I mean there may be some trauma behind the behaviour too, everything needs to be looked at, the household, any dv background (was she exposed but younger kids weren't) , abuse, problems at a school etc. it's hard to give advice when we don't know what you're doing to help, her background and the professionals she sees. But I can tell you, stuff like this isn't cured with a magic pill, she needs other supports in place.
And don't wait, this is urgent, do the research yourself, find out what you need from her doctors and get NDIS in place
I did this, all info is online.
She needs you to advocate for her, what you do now will affect the rest of her life. Set her up to manage these conditions now, rather than when she is a teen.
Everything I have said in her diagnosis is from a psychiatrist.
We have all the supports in place in terms of her speaking to people and having the help needed. Her school is more than accommodating as well and have extra support in place for both her and I.
Medication we have trialled 4 different tablets. They work for the first 6-12 weeks and then stop. Her aide at school has noticed that as well, we will have success and then it stops.
No DV at all and only 1 trauma related incident in her life but she has the help in place for that as well.
When I say I have tried and done everything within my will power for her, I mean it. Apart from NDIS which I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I have tried and now waiting for the help to help me get that in place. I myself struggle with ASD and ADHD.
You need respite mate, it's the only way, hope you get it soon through NDIS x Been through the roller coaster that is bipolar, as a carer, it's lifelong, it's hard, you can't do it with an empty cup. Hope things get better soon for you.