My husband snores. It keeps me awake at night or makes my sleep so broken I wake up feeling exhausted. I have spoken to him about it on several occasions and have recorded it for him to listen to. He refuses to sleep elsewhere and if he does sleep in another room (we don’t have a spare bed) his snoring disturbs not only me but our children in different rooms as it can be that loud. He chokes sometimes too. He refuses to have a sleep study done or even see a specialist. Im finding it extremely selfish and it is effecting our marriage at times too. He often says he’s awake so will get angry if I ask him to adjust the way he is sleeping to lessen the snoring. It causes arguments because quite clearly I’ve asked him to adjust because he has been asleep and snoring. I’m at my wits end and don’t know what to do.
4 Replies
Have you tried earplugs? I shared a hospital room with the loudest scorer I've ever heard last year for a week. If she wasn't asleep snoring, her child was screaming in pain. The few hours she slept was when he would finally scream himself to sleep. My daughter and I found earplugs helped amazingly once I became more skilled at putting them in properly. My alarm wouldn't wake me in the morning though. So you'd need him to wake you or to buy an alarm for deaf people.
Why do men do this!!! My husband did this to me, too!!
The choking sounds are likely apnea events, where he stops breathing. Tell him this can lead to heart failure, fatigue, and headaches. Also try to explain how you are getting no sleep and need him to help you with that. Also tell him you'll wake him every time he starts snoring so he understands the effects it has on you.
My husband eventually downloaded an app that recorded the noise & frequency of his snoring events - to prove me wrong - and was so shocked by the severity he went & did something about it. Also if anyone stayed with us he would get comments too so that helped.
You can do sleep studies at home now. They're through the clinics so are legitimate.
He absolutely needs a sleep test. If he doesn't want to take the time to see a specialist, you can by a sleep test for home and then take results to the doctor. His health is at risk like the other commenter said. And you need your sleep!
You sleep elsewhere and tell him you will move back in to the bed when he does something about it. My partner used to snore sooo loudly you could hear it all through the house, he got a cpap machine which makes hardly any noise, its great. He also feels so much better and I don't stress about his breathing anymore, he used to stop quite a few times a night. It takes a while to get used to but its a win for him and you, expensive but worth it and could save his life.