Behaviour Support

I'm at a loss with my child. She is 8.5
She is diagnosed ADHD, ASD, ODD and Hearing Impaired
She is also a trauma baby.
She has ALOT going on
I'm a solo parent. I do it all on my own. I do have wonderful parents but they can only do so much.
My child lives in fight or flight mode.
I don't know how to get her out of it?
She is SO angry. She hates the world. She refuses to work with anyone. Refuse everything in life. She won't ever talk nicely. She's always yelling.
Yes I'm not yelling back at her to not yell at me.
We have the NDIS, but it is more trouble than it's worth. The LACs don't help. They say I'm not entitled to respite, anything to do with her hearing loss, its dropping. They say i can only get OT speech therapy and psychology. We need more than that. My child can't tall well, speech isn't going to help. She is going deaf! She can't say most letters cause she simply can't hear them.
The older she gets the worse her behaviour gets. The more I can't control her. I wouldn't but some days I feel like I could kill her.
She pushes and pushes and I snap.
I try to take her out and do things with her. But she is destructive in public. I get mad.
It's a vicious circle.
I need help. But I don't know how to get it or where to get it.
Is there so such thing of behavioural managment?
Is there a way to get group councilloring for us with out it costing me an arm and a leg. I just get by financially as it is.
We need help and there is no help out there.

What can I do? Who can I turn to?
I don't even know what is the right way to parent her or not.
I want to be the best mum. I'm trying to be but I'm not.
I physically hurt her today and now I just want to hurt my self as punishment.
She deserves so much more.
Some of you mums might say that but I already know
What am I doing wrong. This has gone on for years. Enough is enough 😪