What do I even do?
My partner and I have been together 5 years.
Prior to my partner, my ex and I were very toxic. I was very thin, lots of abuse on his end regarding my weight, would cheat and blame it on my weight etc. (my now partner knew us together and knows about all the abuse)
When my now partner and I got together I was a 12, I lost weight and got to a 6 before we moved in together. I lost the weight because I quit drinking, was diagnosed with a few health conditions and stuck to a FODMAP diet. I also only worked school hours and had time for gym everyday. I was very healthy.
We moved in together, work together doing very physical work all day so I’m exhausted by the end of work. he has food aversions and his kids do to. We can’t afford to cater for their food issues and mine so we don’t do fodmap and I just try and eat as healthy as I can. Because of my health problem more often than not I’m bloated and have a lot of water retention.
Over the past 12 months I’ve gained 30 kilos. I saw the doctor because even though I wasn’t eating FODMAP I was still very active every day and wasn’t eating unhealthy (home cooked meals, lots of veggies etc) and I’ve been diagnosed with insulin resistance, PCOS, and hypothyroidism. Which I’m taking medication for I haven’t lost much weight- not looking like a hot size 6 amount of weight and I’ve been on the meds for 6 months.
I’m don’t have time - or the energy to workout like I was before and I’m the primary parent to all of our kids so I’m cooking, organising all the school things, doing the majority of the cleaning for a billion children on top of everything
My partner told me he’s no longer attracted to me because of my weight gain.
I’m heart broken and have been crying all day. I don’t know what else I can do. I’ve told him if he wants me to look like I did before than I need to work less so I have more time in my day for workouts and everyone needs to eat FODMAP, I’m not cooking two separate meals so I can eat to what my body needs.
He’s asking me to forget he even said anything and to just move on from it but how am I supposed to do that?
2 Replies
Oh that's horrible. I think you're picking the wrong men. Nobody looks the same as when you first meet someone, we all age, our body changes, even if you don't lose or gain weight your body still changes. These men that expect their partners to stay the same end up old and lonely. You deserve a life where you're appreciated, where you're not just someone's nanny, cleaner, cook, where you're loved for who you are and not what you look like. That comment can't be forgotten, it has shown you what you mean to him. I wouldn't be able to move past that.
You put a mirror to him.
Instead of him being an active participant in the solution he chose to keep things how they are! Not consider the fodmap diet and not consider you reducing your hours so you can work out!
I would asses is the effort all yours?