I purely stay with my narcissistic husband for financial reasons, our kids are just about raised, I know it’s wrong I stay but how do other mums cope who stay for the same reason?
I purely stay with my narcissistic husband for financial reasons, our kids are just about raised, I know it’s wrong I stay but how do other mums cope who stay for the same reason?
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6 Replies
Omg giiiirl this is me!!!! I thought I was the only one! He made it so I can’t leave. I’m waiting for my last child to be a bit older so I can leave because I fear that if I leave now, he will manipulate the kids against me. He has ruined every single aspect of my life. I don’t engage in his arguments anymore. I just say yep and walk away because he loves it when I argue. I also get comfort in the fact that I am better than him, that’s why he had to drag me down, because he wanted to appear better than me. I’m naturally empathetic and caring and loving, something he knows he can never be. Don’t worry, their masks do fall down. Everyone I know, now knows what he is actually like, because they can’t play Mr “perfect” forever. I also get comfort in the fact that even though he appears happy and in charge and dominate, he is actually a very scared sad little cowardly man child deep down. Ignore him as much as you can, and find the little things that make you happy! Stay strong, you’ve got this!
Staying isn’t a great idea. You deserve better and your children deserve a better example of a happy, functioning and fulfilling relationship. They lead by example so by the time they are adults it’s too late.
I couldn't stay I was becoming someone I never wanted to be hollow empty full of hate I left and struggled hard $ wise he moved on and I hated him more I felt so used I did everything he hardly kept a job when we where together 5yrs on my kids r 15 and 7 and ex is having another baby to someone else living the fun life and we still struggle but both my kids and myself can sleep in eat what we want without being called lazy and none of us walk on egg shells anyone somedays it's still tuff feeling alone but I never felt more alone then being with my ex I know we r likely to end up in family court because he wants the youngest now but I'm holding on the idear courts will see his true colours n the fact he's never really been a parent for then for last 4yrs n start time off slowly they currently only call when suits and organise play dates 6 times a yr for an hr or so do what u feel is best but also keep a diary and all communication just incase it's ever needed
Is it possible to have a separate account and start slowly saving money to leave or does he control all the money too?
Id rather live on the street than ever be with a narcissist again. My ex husband was and still is one and meeting/marrying him was the biggest mistake of my life. Id find an alternative
I stayed for way longer than I should have. I finally left when I started to feel sick all the time. All the years of abuse took their toll. I felt like my soul was dying in that house. I packed up my kids and got out of there!
My eldest has turned out a bit like him as they decided to try living with him as they missed him. Which is just so sad. My younger children, have grown up to be the most loving and empathetic people who want very little to do with him. I now wish I had of left when the eldest was younger too!
There is always a cost. It's just about choosing what you can live with.
It was hard, things were hard but I look back now and I have no regrets at all! My life now, is something I used to dream about in that hell. I will forever be proud of that scared out of my mind, younger self who found the courage to leave. Although, I also have to acknowledge I did not do it alone, I had a beautiful DV counsellor and social worker at Centrelink.