Tldr : My daughter's friend keeps stealing off her and I'm not sure what to do about it????
My daughter has 2 friends that live together. One friend (we'll call sarah) she has known all her life. The other friend (we'll name Jane), she has become friends with within the last year.
A few mo ths ago both were at my house and Sarah saw Jane steal an item of clothing from my daughter's room. Jane told her mother and her mother dealt with it, found the item and returned it. I thought no harm no foul but Sarah told my daughter which upset her a great deal but she decided to let it go but would watch Jane like a hawk if she came over again.
Jane was remorseful during the conversation with the mother, and also revealed that she was scared of losing my daughter's friendship.
Fast forward a few months and my daughter is planning her birthday party and stressing about inviting Jane because she won't be able to watch her the whole time. But doesn't want to not invite her because the an awkward conversation would need to be had.
Anyway the day of the party our family friends (mother, daughter, and step daughter) are all there early to help set up. I go off to have a shower and as I'm finishing up my daughter walks in. We have a quick chat and I leave and as I am leaving I can see Jane in my daughter's bedroom rummaging through a pile of clothes on the floor. When she saw me she quickly put her jumper over something on top of the pile and scooped something up in her jumper, as in she wrapped her jumper around something. The way she was acting I am certain she stole something. Just to clarify my daughte found several items of clothes at Jane's house in Jane's cupboard while Jane was away. The mother told my daughter to take back anything that was hers.
Looking back I should have said something right then and there. I'm familiar enough with the family that I could've gotten away with saying "Oi, whatever you just picked up, drop it" but I kinda just stood there. I couldn't believe she was stealing from my daughter on her birthday. Obviously I can't just let this go. Quite frankly I don't want her at our house again but how do you handle this without things being too awkward with the family. We see them ALL the time.
Thanks for your advice x
Girls in question are 17yrs old
1 Replies
How do you deal with this without the awkwardness? Thats the thing, you don't.
Tiptoeing around this issue to avoid an awkward conversation has already resulted in this girl stealing from your home for a second time (that you're aware of, it sounds like there's been multiple other occasions).
This is a perfect time to start teaching your daughter how to set boundaries, how to address conflict and quite frankly, how to stand up for herself so that in future she doesn't feel the need to remain friends with someone who she can't trust.