It's now been 6 yrs since my son's dad has moved on and got a new family and now has two kids to the new partner and she already had two kid's of her own.
I feel like ever since the first child came along, my son's dad has pushed his son with me further away and he wasn't even invited to that baby shower on the day he was meant to have him.
2nd child came along, and the visits pretty much stopped.
Our son has had almost no contact or any family relationship with his Father or his sister's. They don't even know their own brother.
Moving on to now. Last four years the Dad has only seen his son around their bdays, their bdays are a day apart and at Christmas. I try and keep up the contact, asking when I'm meant to through our verbal agreement but this year I put a stop to it. Said fine. See your son around your bdays and at Christmas and so far no communication since but I feel like I'm the worse Mum ever for stopping the communication, like I'm not doing enough.
Our son is almost 11 in a week time's, and he cries sometimes at night.
I don't know what the f#ck I'm meant to do anymore
Please help. I'm so lost.
4 Replies
You aren’t going to change dads behaviour so you put your attention into helping your son cope.
He’s going to need building up so that he can feel good about himself and probably a psychologist to talk to.
Is there another male family member that can step up and spend some 1:1 time with him?
You are doing the right thing mumma bear, just be there for your son x
This way, he doesn't get his hopes up and then disappointed.
What I've learnt is, you can't force dads to be interested and love their children.
You are more than enough for your son x
It's not your responsibility to force a relationship. You do need to be honest with your son though, yes it might hurt but the truth is better than him worrying and wondering. Sometimes people make decisions and your father has made his, but you have so many people who love and care for you, grandparents, family, friends, name them all, they will all be there for you when you want and need.
As a mum who has raised two boys by herself because their dad was absent by his own choice. You just be there. Be the consistent, be his support and where he goes to find love. He will be sad and he will cry, you can't fix that but you can be there to help him pick up the pieces of his heart. It's hard because as mums we just want to stop them hurting but sometimes nothing we are capable of doing will stop the hurt, we can just let them know that they are heard, seen, understood and we will be there.
My boys are older now and we are so close, I wish their dad had wanted to be apart of their lives but they didn't grow up missing out on love, I was there beside them every step of the way. That's all you can do xx