My husband tricked me into eating chocolate to increase sex drive he wanted to get me into the mood. After it didn't work he told be what he did. Am I wrong for being mad?
My husband tricked me into eating chocolate to increase sex drive he wanted to get me into the mood. After it didn't work he told be what he did. Am I wrong for being mad?
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7 Replies
Anything that could naturally increase libido requires genuine attraction, so it's very different to drugging someone and potentially having them act out of character. Not to mention that there is little research that any medications have a direct causal impact on libido for women... And even medications that do work really well for men still require them to have some stimulation in the first place.
I'd just be annoyed he wasted his money.
He may as well have taken you to a restaurant and ordered oysters for the entree. Highly unlikely to have any impact unless you're already there
Nah, i think anger is warranted! Because what motivated this and the deceptive way he went about it is creepy and it definitely blurs some lines.
How effective these chocolates may or may not be is irrelevant! He tricked you into eating some either hoping or expecting them to work, and also because he knew you wouldn't eat them willingly if you knew what they were.
That. Is. A. Problem.
I actually feel like this is a big breach of trust and I don't know that I'd feel safe around a man who was that at ease with slipping me something he thought would get him sex. How do you ever trust that there isn't going to be a next time with something more heavy duty than a gimmicky chocolate....
How effective it is, or 'natural' it is irrelevant. He fed you what he thought might alter your physical and/or mental state in order to get what he wants, without consent. It's still a drug.
It's not ok. Once my DH told me he was so desperate he considered crushing horny goat weed pills into my food in the hope I'd get in the mood. He didn't, but I was still disgusted. I told him he would get a divorce if he ever tried it.
Add to that, I discovered a couple of years ago those 'natural' tablets (tried some for energy) make me violently ill. So they're not harmless!!
Have the discussion on how it's drugging if slipped anything without consent & does that mean next time it'll be something stronger? He probably didn't consider it drugging, and his response will be telling.
If my partner said that to me I'd laugh at him. I would think it was so stupid
It's actually manipulative behaviour like this that I speak to my children about whilst discussing things like consent, respectful relationships and bodily autonomy...
Your initial reaction was anger - you feel this way for a reason! Other people might think this is funny or not a big deal and that's fine if they are okay with this sort of thing within their own relationship but you are entitled to feel however you feel about it.
What you really need to consider now is how you work through this and what it means for your relationship going forward.
My goodness, what a weird thing to do. He may feel like his needs are not being met, but how dare he resort to such a measure. I hope you are ok. Totally acceptable to feel angry. Slip him a viagra before work tomorrow, see how he likes it. Kidding.