I don’t think my partner and I are on the same retirement page, and I’m not sure we will be ever so I wonder what I am in for, or am I just overthinking it all.
I’m 5 years off retirement. Through early vigilance and good decision making, I have a respectable enough super balance to be able to comfortably retire at 60, all going well, and God willing, we should be mortgage free by the time I retire.
My partner of 20 years has not been superannuation conscious at all until quite a few years after we met, and so we made a conscious decision to concentrate on increasing a very low super balance. It’s still low, though a lot better than it was but more than likely will still not meet even the average super balance for their age.
My partner is a number of years younger than me and in our discussions about retirement recently they have said they want to retire when I do, but they will not be able to access their super until they are 60 and their super balance will be also be significantly affected if they don’t spend those years working until they turn 60 to help increase their super balance.
This also means that for those years we’ll drop to one income, coming from my super.
Further in our discussions the ideal retirement plan for my partner is to be able to play golf a few times a week and put the feet up, veg, and literally do nothing but watch tv and streaming shows for the rest of each day. My partner wants to move into a unit complex specifically to have no house and yard maintenance.
I want to go and do all those things I cannot do working full time. I’d like to travel. I’d like to explore different hobbies. I’d like to learn to dance, play the piano, join the university of the third age to study what ever I want to, go to social events such as trivia and oldie activities such as lawn bowls, or bridge/card games, garden, become a volunteer, etc. I want a full and fulfilling retirement schedule for as long as I can, while I’m able to and my health holds up.
We’ve talked about our different ideas of retirement and they have said there is no issue if I want to go off and do all those things, but not to expect them to follow suit. But for me, the thought of just sitting around watching streaming aps and just doing nothing in general is soo depressing. I want to go out and explore the world and I would like to do that with my partner. If we stay on this trajectory I’m not sure how we’ll stay together and have similar interests, etc.
I cannot be the only one who has found themselves in this boat? How have you managed these conversations and retirement? TIA.
Retirement concerns
Retirement concerns
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Health & Wellbeing
2 Replies
No one can make your partner want to do the same things as you. I have known quite a few people (always women!) with husbands who didn't want to compromise, to travel, etc. Just plat golf or whatever THEY want. They took opportunities when they arose, and didn't sit around. Found travel buddies etc.
Financially - you'll need to be clear you have plans for your super & it won't be enough to support your partner to retire earlier. He needs to start sacrificing more into Super & work longer.
It's not a horrific thing to do. A few months ago my SIL & BIL sat in my lounge & when she said she'd retire when he did at 60 (she's 8 years younger) & live off his super as 'she was tired', then hers later on... he said no, you'll have to keep working to increase your super!! She had a face like she'd sucked a lemon, but she now knew the score! They're very wealthy too!!
If you're in a long-term relationship, are your finances separate or joint? If separate, I'd say it goes into your account so he can only retire if he can afford it. If joint, I'd say it's more flexible. I have a lot more super than my husband because I retire on my full wage as a pension that increases with CPI and my husband has a more common super... But it's all joint income to us. We wouldn't have 1 person working and the other not because our decisions look at our finances as a couple. But you do need to come to an agreement with him as a couple. If you can't and this becomes a sticking point in your relationship, don't forget he can take part of your super in a separation if yours is bigger.
Regarding activities... Hubby and I will differ. I'll join more bands, take pottery classes, maybe volunteer to take injured animals. Hubby will tinker, build things, probably still go to the skate park lol. We'll travel Australia together, but overseas I'll do with friends because he's not interested. You don't have to have the same plan for your time in retirement as long as you support each other.