My sons friend spends most afternoons and evenings with us at our home, including sleep overs.
I'm a little concerned that home life might not be great for him but I'm not real sure what my role should be.
I'm more than happy to have him over and spend time and even stay the night as he seems to be a good kid but I can't help wonder what's going on?
On a school night he has been here after 8pm. I've fed him dinner and walked him home and he runs inside on his own before we get to the door.
A couple days ago he was here all day from early morning and his mum came to the door in the early afternoon to say she was going out for a couple hours and asked if he could be here. I was of course fine with this but she wasn't home until about 10pm so I just let him stay the night.
This little boy is only 9 or 10 years old. I, personally, would make sure my children were home by at least 5pm on school nights and would never let them stay out so late, especially without any communication.
Is this odd? Or just a different parenting style?
6 Replies
It's definitely a bit odd by today's standards but looking back on my own childhood that was pretty standard. Particularly for kids of single mums, we had our own keys, came and went as we pleased and we were very independent from a young age.
If you're happy to continue providing a safe space for this boy then I'd just keep an eye on things for now. Might just be that mum doesn't have a lot of support.
It is odd. I'm an 80's kid and Mum had no idea where I was all day but I had to be home by 5. My kids grew up in a small town and had a lot more freedom than city kids but I still always knew where they were and they had to be home by 5 also. I think parents that are like this have something else that is taking priority over their child. What that priority is could be anything, drugs, alcohol, dating, netflix. I'm assuming not work if he's coming and going whenever he likes and any normal parent would organise supervision of their child if they were working.
If found this the be becoming the norm. Parents allowing their kids so much more freedom as they call it. My kids have a few friends from good homes who can stay put until midnight as long as the parent know they are. My kids are limited. I still struggle letting my 12yo to walk a km to the closest shop. No way would I let him out that late
How old is he?
Do you feel comfortable talking to mum about it? Maybe check in with her to see if there’s anything she needs help/support with. I would also mention it to school. They may already be aware of an issue at home (they won’t be able to tell you if there is), or they may be able to talk to the child to find out if there is any concerns. In the meantime just be that safe space for the child, as long as you’re comfortable with them being there so often.
Just want to thankyou for allowing another parents child at your home so often. Whatever the reason, you're doing the right thing. It could all just be completely innocent too. ... he probably just loves the company of your family life and enjoys being good friends with your own child