I’m so torn on how I feel and how to word this so I don’t sound like a piece of shit. I’m a single parent to a 7yo, I have her 100% of the time. I love her more than anything, she has quite a few challenges and parenting her can be extremely difficult. Prior to having her, I did party quite a bit and took recreational drugs regularly. I do know it wasn’t a healthy life and it lead me to a toxic relationship and thus raising a child alone. I went out for the first time in a very long time on the weekend and I had a really great time. But now I am really missing my old life, I miss going out, I even miss getting high which hasn’t happened in a long time. I just don’t know how to get out of this funk. My current situation just feels like Groundhog Day and I almost get no joy out of it at the moment. How do I get out of this and enjoy life again.
3 Replies
find healthy ways to bring that high to your life i.e. groups (look at meetups, they have everything), hobbies, sport, travel, camping etc.
accept this is your life, accept that you only have another 11 years as an active parent and make them as great as possible for your child, because they only get one childhood.
maybe go out once a month, it will give you something to look forward to.
learn to have a few drinks, nothing crazy, if you do it regularly you wont have the mindset, i'm free, and have to take full advantage and get wild.
maybe also increase your social circle with other parents.
No joy? I was an addict, clean ten years, my son is ten. I have been a solo parent except the last couple years since meeting my partner. My son has disabilities, a muscle disorder, intellectual disability and Autism, he goes to a specialist school, the joy is his laugh, it's the funny thing he says, it's his cuddles, it's sitting on the bed watching TV together, it's when he masters a new skill, or achieves something. There is soooo much joy to be found in kids that makes all the struggles worth it, their smile alone makes it all worth it.
congrats on your sobriety, you sound like a light of love x