Three years ago my sister moved in with me with her two dogs, she goes away for 3-4 days a week so I look after 3 dogs every day! She claims her dogs are her babies but can be away from them for days at a time, I've been away from mine for 10 days over her almost 4 years of life. We have a schedule where she's meant to pick up the dogs poop one day a week, my son and I do it two days a week.
Our dogs have ruined the grass out the back so my partner of 13 months has paid a decent amount of money to replace it.
Yesterday it was very hot but the poop needed to be picked up, my son asked her to do it, she said she would but not until it was cooler (there was 5 poops that needed to be picked up so all of 60 seconds) so then the grass could be watered.
I've gone outside to pick it up and she's told me to stop, she'd do it. My partner has piped up and said how much he's spent on the grass and she's lost it at him.
He's then said that he'd give her dogs to someone who wants them. I told him off for that comment in front of her but she was going off at him so much that she didn't hear me. She screamed at me saying she hates him, hates that I'm with him, and won't be coming to our wedding. Then as she was closing the door she turned around and said she hopes he gets hit by a truck.
I screamed back at her, she took her dogs last night and went to my parents. She told my mum her side of the story, then my mum called me and got really angry at me, saying she doesn't care that my sister doesn't do much around the house, that my partner needs to stay out of things. He lives here too!
She's very lazy when it comes to housework, she does barely anything, she'll stay in her room all day. I'm getting sick and tired of it. She can do no wrong in my parents eyes (middle child, almost died as a small child).
AITA for telling her that I can't wait for her to move out?
AITA for telling my mum that I'm willing to lose my sister over my partner?
6 Replies
Ok. This is not Reddit (has the AITA forum). This is for advice. I'm not sure what you're asking but living with family is almost always a disaster.
My DB, who I got along with, lived with us for a bit & he became a real a*shole to live with. Messy & once even hurled abuse at me for a filthy frying pan on the stove 'thar had been there so long it had turned green'. I pointed out HE cooked curry at 3am, drunk, and woke/stunk us all out. We get along fine now, but it's been many, many years & it's still affected our relationship.
So tell you sister you love her but obviously have different ideas of lifestyle, so she should move out as you don't want to lose her. Ignore other people's opinions as they're skewed to the 'injured' party who for their story in first.
Sounds like it didn't need to be a thing.
1) poop will not ruin the grass if it waits a few hours
2) if the grass is new or you're trying to look after it, watering it during the day in a heatwave WILL damage the grass, so waiting to pick up the poop and then water it once it has cooled is actually sensible
3) her working away has nothing to do with whether she loves her dog so the comments are judgy and mean. If you don't want to care for them in her absence then voice your actual concern calmly and kindly
4) everyone over reacted and everyone owes apologies
Look. Going away for a few days at a time and leaving pets with someone to meet their needs doesn’t equal “I don’t love or want my dogs”. Your comments are kind of giving that parent who brags about never leaving kids with a babysitter and insinuates anyone who does doesn’t love their kids as much.
The grass absolutely did not need to be watered at that very second in the heat of the day. Probably a bit pointless actually as more water would be evaporated than soaking into the grass. That’s why people typically water their garden early morning or early evening.
Sounds like your sister has been babied most of her life and probably is a bit lazy and entitled as a result, sounds like you also went and picked up the poop because you knew she wouldn’t even after it had cooled down. He blow up at your partner wasn’t necessary but neither were his jabs about the price of the grass and getting rid of her dogs.
Your parents shouldn’t have picked sides. Mine would have told us all to pull our heads in and let them be retired in peace😂
Everyone in this situation was an asshole but I suspect this living arrangement and some lingering resentments are probably the real driving force behind this blow up.
Yep. Watering plants and grass in the sun also burns them...
No it doesn't, that is old advice that's been proven wrong. It has more to do with evaporation.
Your sister is taking advantage, let Mum deal with her!