My partner and I have been engaged for 2 years, we’re briefly talking about wedding plans… I would like a no kids but our own wedding… is that ok? My partner thinks it doesn’t seem right because his brothers two kids won’t be there, yet my sisters kids won’t be there either. It will be our wedding day so I say that it’s whatever we choose, no matter what family members or anyone says… but I just want to know, does it make us bad?
41 Replies
I think it says, "I think everyone else's kids are annoying except mine". Kid free weddings really only make sense for people who haven't had kids yet, in my opinion, otherwise it's weird. You can't not have them there or you would be a terrible parent. But you can't be a hypocrite either. That's why they don't work when you have kids.
I had two siblings opt for kid free weddings and it was the worst thing ever. Trying to organise babysitters because we felt obligated to attend being an immediate relative. Then my youngest had huge separation anxiety following as I had to leave them overnight. Tbh I would never do that to my family and if they do it again, I just won't turn up and will cop their judgement. I agree if it is cousins or friends who can choose not to attend etc. but doing that to siblings truly sucks.
Another relative recently did it where they picked and chose amongst the kids they felt closest to. I did not turn up. They commented on me being the only sibling not present but had excluded my kids and included others. That's not just being a little selfish because it's your day, that's just n@sty.
The best kid free wedding I went to was where they had a room with a babysitter interacting with the kids and they gave them activity boxes. Now that was lovely but obviously depends on your budget.
why are people so entitled these days, you want the wedding to provide daycare urghhh?
you get invited to a wedding, be grateful, don't be pissed your kids aren't invited, it's their preference, they arent punishing you.
a lot of grown ups love letting their hair down at an adult only event, doesn't happen often.
if your kid has issues and you can't go, so be it.
worse thing ever FOR YOU, probably not for the bride and groom, the day is about them, NOT YOU.
Any sister who feels "obligated" to attend your wedding, is a shitty, crap sister.
If you can't prioritize your sister for one day, on her wedding day, your sister is better off without you.
And I bet your sister was highly involved and enthusiastic for your wedding, what a selfish, miserable, disappointment of a human being you are.
Me, Me, Me lol
I would not attend a wedding like that either, theres kid free and then there's petty. People excuse crappy behaviour from adults under that "their wedding, their choice" banner but why? It's really rude behaviour.
That's got nothing to do with her attitude towards her own sister's wedding.
People have budgets, they have to make a choice, they can't invite everyone, so of-course they pick the people who they are closest too, the people they see often.
Plus, your kids might be a pain in the ass.
It's my wedding, oh, I'm limited in numbers, so I'll pick the people I hardly know, over the people I'm close to smh.
Such entitlement...no relative owes you an invite, money is tight these days you miserable woman..
I was in my Auntie’s wedding as a flower girl when I was 12. Not only was I bored out of my mind but I was also pretty tired by about 9pm. There was also 2 younger kids there and I basically got tasked with babysitting them so all the adults could have a good time. I also had a couple of very drunk men have wildly inappropriate conversations with me.
I don’t believe wedding receptions are suitable for children and I’ll forever stand by that. I’ve never been offended by kid free wedding invites - I’ve either declined if I couldn’t attend or I found a sitter. Even where my kids have been included in the invite I still chose not to bring them.
Ultimately, it’s your wedding, you are presumably footing the bill so do what you want!
To add to this. I was meant to be the only child at my Auntie’s wedding as I was part of the bridal party. The two other children were bought along by entitled relatives who thought the child free bit didn’t apply to them.
Those 2 kids were the biggest pains in the ass lol.
That's why you found it boring, every wedding I went to as a kid we all had a ball.
I think it's pretty standard these days. Accept some of those travelling or can't afford / don't have childcare to decline.
The only thing I can't get past is people who cherry pick invitees & leave certain family members off the list for no reason. My SIL did that & 10 years on most of her family still don't speak to her & it ruined her wedding. My niece left me off her 21st (only local family not invited, for no reason other than me, me, me) & I'll never forgive her. It's humiliating go be left of when you are part of the group.
Perfectly ok. Your wedding. However, if people decline you also can’t be upset.
Won’t your kids be bored being the only children in a room full of grownups? For our wedding we had children invited to the wedding and then a childfree reception. Our families are huge with lots of younger cousins. We arranged a room in the hotel where the reception was held and paid several older kids to babysit and they had a ball
It is sad what weddings have become. Why even bother just have a dinner at a restaurant and that's that, save your money. Weddings are so boring now.
I'm a mum, and husband and I love a night out. What's wrong with a kid free wedding? Why can't people have a day to celebrate? Never been to a boring wedding tbh. We have mixed backgrounds so no boring food or music for us thanks 🤣
Boring is not being able to have a good time with just adults without your kids.
Are you just a mum, or a wife, woman, friend, relative, adult?
So many people lose themselves in motherhood to the point they can't have a good time for one night without their kids.
What a shame, no wonder so many divorce when their kids leave home.
Why do you need a wedding to have a kid free night? If you are able to do that for a wedding you're able to do it anytime lol. Get a babysitter and go out lol. Weddings used to be 2 families having a big party to celebrate joining together, that's honestly what they used to be. They still are in many other countries and cultures which is why so many find this no kid thing really strange. It was meant for everyone. Im allowed to think its sad that weddings in Australia are not like that anymore.
you've got it wrong, traditionally and back in the day, kids were seen and not heard and certainly unwelcome at wedding receptions
having kids at weddings is more a modern idea in australia.
a lot of people can't afford babysitters, going out to dinner often, but a wedding is a big bash, you have time to organise/save and have a great adult only time.
it's a chance to let your hair down, get drunk, dance etc. and not have to leave early because of the kids.
such an expense for the bride/groom, food, venue hire, dress, music etc and i find most bride and grooms want their family to have a raging great time and stay until stumps.
family gatherings are always with the kids, a wedding is a very special event.
plus remember, you pay per head and the kids never eat their meals.
No, you're very wrong. Traditionally weddings are family events, that was the whole point of them.
How often are you going to kid free weddings for it to be keeping your marriage alive? I would expect for it to actually make an impact and prevent divorce after the kids leave home it would have to be once a month at least.
I totally get the cost factor but it is still sad no matter the reason and yes, weddings are boring today. They are no different to an end of year work party, its just a normal event now.
Boring? So you need kids to entertain you at a beautiful wedding that your loved one has organised, paid for and been generous enough to invite you to? Okay...
Again, you feel sad on one of your loved ones most important day, because there aren't kids running around?
What a shitty attitude, feel sorry for those who invite you and don't have kids attending, hope you don't bring the mood down.
It's not about what makes you happy or sad, it's about what the bride and groom want.
I don't care either way, but I respect what people want and don't judge them or feel sad/bored.
I'm there to love, celebrate and support them, no conditions.
.
Bored?!?
How old are you?!?
Are you one of those sad saps that sits in the corner at social gatherings because things aren't done your way and you aren't the centre of attention?
Being bored says more about you than the actual event.
How can you compare an important family event with people you're supposed to love with a party with your work colleagues?
Don't like your nieces and nephews?
Idiot
Fair enough not paying for friends kids... But immediate family would typically be at a wedding. Why are you looking to exclude your nieces and nephews? Are there significant behavioural issues?
They're not excluding their nieces and nephews, they're excluding all kids. They obviously want their own there to see their mum and dad get married, but thats the only exception. This is why people elope, because of family drama, all because family members can't respect the bride and grooms wishes. This day is about the bride and groom, they want an adult event, they have the right to that, what they want trump's siblings and their kids. This is their special day, to remember forever. Family members should keep their opinions or comments to themselves.
Typical to you maybe, all the weddings I've been to lately have had no kids.
But the groom does want them their. Hence the bride asking for opinions. You can give yours and I can give mine. After all, opinions were specifically sought....
You can give your opinion, but saying they are specifically excluding their nieces and nephews is false, they are having a child-free wedding. Why try to guilt them with such statements that just aren't true? It's cruel, mean and manipulative.
The husband WANTS them there. So yes, if the bride decides they can't attend they are being excluded.
ALL kids are being excluded, not nieces and nephews.
Why have your kids there? If everyone is going through the trouble of finding babysitters as well as all the other costs involved then they deserve a kid free night at a so called kid free wedding. Have your kids at the wedding and get them babysat for the reception. They don't need to be there and will get bored and annoy you and everyone else there.
Nobody "deserves" anything as a guest at a wedding, what a ridiculous comment.
You sound resentful that the bride and groom want their own children at their own wedding, how bitter and twisted, hope they throw your comment where it belongs, in the trash.
Not resentful at all, just being realistic. If it says kid free I expect there to be no kids there. It would be good for the bride and groom and guests, the kids will be happy with a babysitter chilling without having to listen to drunk adults. Everyone wins, leave them out of the reception.
Invites usually have the names of the people invited, they don't give a breakdown of the ages of the people invited or whether it's child free or not. Who goes to a wedding "expecting" no kids and then gets annoyed when the bride and grooms kid are there, how strange. As an invitee of a wedding, you go, you eat, you drink, you enjoy the day, you go home. You don't come with expectations, you're just a guest, you appreciate being invited and you support/celebrate the bride and groom. If the bride and groom are happy to take care of their kids and have them at the reception, that's their business, certainly not the guests.
If I get an invite saying "this is a child free wedding" you bet i am getting excited about that and will be very disappointed if I walk in there to find kids screaming. I do think its a bit rude to everyone that's expecting a good night. The bride and grooms kids are the WORST because they've had a massive day, they've had 50 different relatives get in their space all day, they've had zero attention from their parents all day and come time for that reception they are ready to explode and are so tired, what a joy!
What a truly resentful, bitter, entitled person you are, having an issue with the bride and grooms children attending their own parents wedding. A couple of kids, not under your care and supervision, have the power to ruin your entire day/night. If that's your attitude, there's really nothing left to say.
Well that's the other thing, everyone feels obligated to help with the kids because it's the couples wedding day, they should be enjoying themselves so it is ruining the night for those that end up being the babysitters/entertainers. How is it not common sense to leave them elsewhere with a babysitter?
Stop spitting your venom, you awful human being...