Hi ladies im after some advice,
My husband has been suffering depression (medicated) but this last 2 weeks its been progressively worse. Hes unhappy at work and trying to find a new job. I work full time aswell (shift work) and so he looks after the kids while im at work, or marriage is unsteady due to his mood swings and short temper and he distances himself through technology by constantly listening to music and being on the Internet which i then get frustrated for him not being "present". This last few days hes been saying hes really had enough and i didnt think it meant he'd actually had enough of life but just with work, however i was wrong.. he said he felt like ending it so he ddnt have to go back to his current job due to stressful workloads in which his boss is doing nothing about to support him. I immediately encouraged him to return to the gp who then changed his medication and referred him to a psychologist and gave him a week off for stress leave.
I am supportive of him and understanding but its hard to not get frustrated when hes at home and zoning out and seems fine but then when hes back at work is wingeing to me... i get frustrated because he doesnt initiate stuff around the house to help until its built up like washing ect... hes not a lazy man usually hes very loyal and hard working and it gets him down he cant get a new job very easily and he feels "stuck"
Ive fixed his resume and am constantly encouraging him to get help and keep applying but what else can i do? These days most parents both have to work due to increased living expenses. What can i do to help me stay calm with him and not get angry when i come home and see things need doing which i would of expected him to just do.. just after some similar experiences.. i suffer from anxiety myself but living with someone with major depression is taking its toll at times..
1 Replies
You absolutely need to have your own counsellor. I'm a carer. It's exhausting when someone is depressed. You need your own person to vent to, to strategise with etc. try and remind yourself that like anxiety, depression is medical and not very often situational. I can be going through the easiest time of my life and be in a very dark place.
If he is that depressed though there might be some tough choices ahead. Wether that's downsizing, moving to a cheaper suburb, selling up some things. Whatever. I know it's hard I had to downsize two years ago for similar reasons but once I made that choice and went with it things got so much easier.