Hi there,
I met my soon to be husband around four years ago.
I am 8 years younger than him and in my early 20's, he has one brother who is also married - to paint the scene when my partner and i got together his brother and sister in law were planning there wedding and choose not to invite and and invite his ex (even though we were living together to) i have never ever completely let go of this. I MEAN WTF! lol
Myself and my sister in law (to be) have never had the relationship that i pictured.
Any how four years on we live an hour away from each other and they have a 1 yr old baby and we are about to be married, they decided not to choose us as god parents for there son (not sure completely why but we were offended) We both have jobs and have had our up's and downs but we are decent people.
I guess my main issue here is my sister in law shows no interest in me at all! I always make an attempt to see how she is and it is always one word replies she never ever likes anything on my FB page and if the boys want to get together i always have to do the running around. Shes a stay at mum mum whos partner earns a shit load more money than we do. I have offered to the baby for a night to help them out but i get refused.
She has another sister in law and they are like best friends. I feel like my post makes no sense but I am mad that she shows no interest in my life.
I also asked her to be a bridesmaid and she complained about the day we were getting married on and having to come to hair/make up rehearsals.
FEELING PISSED OFF.
4 Replies
Why are you trying so hard? Just don't. You don't need her to be your friend.
She sounds like a bitch. Why do you care what she thinks? Who invites a brother in laws ex to a wedding? Spiteful if you ask me.
I'd just back off. Delete her from FB. She's obviously not your friend. Tell her you have someone else in mind to be a bridesmaid if she'd rather not do it. Doing this could create waves though. Is it worth it?
Otherwise just ignore her antics and ignore her from now on.
Good luck.
Thanks its hard when my husband to be loves his brother , i just pictured us being close and having family lunches ect but thats not the case at all, i mentioned her maybe having to drop out of wedding and she actually seemed to jump at the idea haha so will see how it plays out.. id be happy to delete them from our life but my husband to be has ties with his brother
I think you are constantly feeling hurt and rejected because your relationship with her does not match up with your expectations of what the relationship should be. Stop trying so hard and accept that it is what it is and that you can only control your actions.
one thing that jumped out at me was your disappointment at not being asked to be godparents. The reality is that it is none of your business who they ask, or why they asked them. It is their child and they are under no obligation to choose you, and really, they don't seem particularly close to you so it is time to lower your expectations.
I feel like you're desperately seeking approval from her and it's time to stop. She doesn't come across as a very nice person so just focus on you and your fiancé. Take a step back and let him manage his relationship with his brother. Be polite, take the high road and look at your expectations of the relationship.
Firstly, there wedding, they invite who they want. My wedding I invite people who I'm close to, doesn't matter who they are dating, living with whatever. In fact wE had to cull numbers so chose not to invite partners that had been together for less than a certain period of time. Just because you live with her brother doesn't mean you are going to be besties.
Same goes for who is god parents. I would never assume or be insulted if I wasn't chosen to be a god mother to my nieces and nephews. It's there kid, there choice and just because I'm related to someone it doesn't make me the closest person to them. In fact my sisters chose friends, and I was really happy with that, and it's none of my business.
Stop trying so hard, relax, not everyone is going to bond just because you are related, that's life. I'm not close to all my family either, some I'm super close to, others I'm not. It's about personalities.