I don't know what to do. I'm always so angry and frustrated and all I want to do is walk out. I just seriously dont care anymore. I'm over it all. I've had some health issues of late and to be honest I can't even be bothered to take the medication I'm meant to anymore. I've had a constant headache for well over a week the doctor is putting down to stress. Well seriously how are you meant to eliminate stress when your a full-time mum to 3 kids 5 and under and a hubby who works 6 days a week anything from 40-70 hours a week. he just is never home I dont get a break no family or friends to assist even once in awhile and I'm so very very close to walking out and never coming back. I can't do this anymore
5 Replies
don't make a decision that you will regret the rest of your life. Tell hubby how you feel. Ring local daycare centers and find one that will take them for one or two days a week so you can take a break. Some local community centers also have occasional care. Use it and enjoy it, everyone needs time to themselves. If you can afford it get a house cleaner in, anything to lighten your load!
Get yourself back to the doctors and get yourself a mental health plan so you can start seeing a psychologist. Tell hubby things have to change, if that means moving to a cheaper house, less expensive area, whatever it takes otherwise he will be a single dad to 3 kids.
Make sure you are absolutely using contraceptive, I know that sounds strange and obvious but things have a way of happening and ending up in a bigger hole than we were before.
First off..I hear you. In the same boat. I have even contemplated suicide.
Have you spoken to your doc about depression/ anxiety. Even counselling may help to get frustration out.
It's hard when you can't get any sort of break. Maybe childcare one day a week just to give yourself some breathing space.
You need to give yourself some time somehow otherwise you will only get worse. It's really hard to find time for yourself but you need to find a way.
Best of luck and hang in there. It will pass even tho it seems a million years away :)
I think all mothers feel like you at one stage or another of early motherhood. It does however pass as your kids get older. Think of it this way, start counting down till your youngest starts school. There are a few things I think you should do in the meantime. 1. Call your GP, get a care plan for yourself that allows you for 5 subsidised visits to a councillor. 2. Call salvos and see if they can fund some emergency nanny money for you for t a short period of says week or so. You could even catch up on sleep while the many looks after kids. 3. Put your kids in childcare one day a week, all on the same day. is one going to be at school next year? 4. On that day off do something for yourself, gets weekly massage, go to the gym, go swimming, meet a friend every week for lunch. These things will help you get through this rut. You really don't want to leave and walk out. You just need help and a bit of time off. We all have to learn to ask for help at one time in our life, and it is your turn now. Good luck and keep us posted with your progress.
I don't have any advise for you but I just wanted to say I know how you feel, I could have written this myself. I'm from a different country so I've got no family close by and the good friends I do have are busy with their own work and families. I know day care can get really expensive as well so sometimes it's easier said then done to have a break. I don't intend any disrespect to people that do have the help because if I did I'd definitely take the opportunity. That being said sometimes I just tell myself what a great mother I am to be doing it all on my own. We as SAHM's have such a huge job, we are care givers, teachers, nurses, maids, chefs, janitors, cheufers etc. etc.. The day is never done. So give yourself a big pat on the back for all your hard work. Just remember you are the glue holding everyone together and they need you, even if they don't always show it. Sometimes I find just getting the kids out for a drive or a walk in the pram really helps. Plus you know they are buckled in and can't get into mischief. As far as hubby goes, tell him how you are feeling. Tell him that when he gets home you need 10 minutes out to have a shower, or at least just a big hug at the end of the day to show he cares. Good luck mummy, your kiddies love you!! Xx
As a male who worked 70 + hours a week in our own business, I would have loved it if my then wife would have stepped up and got a job instead of leaving it all up to me. so I would like to suggest that you talk to him and he might be like me and would love the opportunity to spend time with his children and not miss out on all those good times with your children as I did and if you both decide that he should stay at work just remember that you get to spend all of those moments with your kids that only come around once and if you are at the beck and call of a job you do not get the same opportunity.