Feeling so alone

I feel so alone in this world, I feel like no one actually cares about me, no support network, hardly any friends. If I died tomorrow the only people that would realise is my kids & dog.

I've been in a relationship with a man that hasn't really been caring or committed. I recently discovered that he was emotionally cheating with other girls while I was pregnant, we have a 5 month old. Throughout the relationship I never felt as though he was really there he was drinking with mates or too busy. He'd ignore & isolate me & not care if I was ok or not then the next day or a few days later apologise & promise the world.

I have only ever had a very limited family my mother & sister. My mother lived with me when I was a single mum to my eldest as I was going through a rough time with an abusive narcissistic ex & court proceedings. My mother is very controlling she would constantly criticise me & override me on anything to do with my eldest child. I paid her to look after my daughter while I went back to full time work around daycare hours & she made me feel guilty each & every day. She offered to do it but then constantly would throw in my face that she gave up her life to help me. I couldn't go out & if I ever had a break I was made to pay for it with the way she treated me. Our relationship deteriorated she then has involved my sister & my sister no longer speaks to me. My mother told me things in arguments such as that she didn't love me, she favours my sister & get over it. She would then walk back in like nothing happened, no apology nothing. She'd always make out I was using her when I have helped her a lot in the past as well and my sister. We now barely speak our relationship is so strained. My sister did not acknowledge my daughters birthday or even acknowledge my youngest daughter at all. My family didn't even ring & see if I was ok in hospital never visited nothing.

I'm trying to work past the emotional cheating with my partner but he will still ignore me & my feelings, still put me down & told us to leave after I discovered the cheating messages so I'm in a different town alone with no support network. His family idolise him (lucky man) to the point that they see no wrong in anything he's done so they too have isolated me. Then sit back & criticise me for having breastfed my daughter, she's had colic issues & that's my fault cause I didn't bottle feed her. Yet no one wants to help or support me in raising them just sit there & throw stones.

I have lived away from friends so long that I just hardly have any & none that can help me as they are busy in their own lives.

I need to get back into the workforce but my youngest daughter has colic issues still & it's so hard to even settle her.

I've been to counselling but still don't feel like I'm understood or cared about, I don't feel like a human just a robot. I adore my children I love them but life seems like one obstacle after another for so long now. I just feel so alone, I just don't even know what I'm asking here just needed to let it out.