Hi mums
Wondering if anyone else feels trapped.
Me and my partner had kids quite young (16&17) and we have been a happy little family but for some reason I just feel trapped. I feel that I should be out exploring the world , experiencing different things being liberated by life. Don't get me wrong I love being a mum and my little family but I just can't shake that feeling, any other mums out there feel the same ?
Feeling trapped
Feeling trapped
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4 Replies
My mum felt this way, she had us young too :) not all the time but she definitely felt it. Just remember your kids will grow up and you can explore the world and have adventures.
Yes! I had my daughter at 16 and I have felt a bit trapped from time to time. It was when I was about 19 with 2 kids a friend really took me to reality she said to me "I would give anything to have your life, you are so lucky" (she was told she couldn't have kids) I always remember her when I am feeling really trapped. I want to have dreams to follow and go for them, I do and my kids are my biggest supporters. I have experienced so much and I have so much more to go, i haven't traveled but when I do I have 3 of the most amazing companions (plus I can go later in life anyway and have just as much fun lol). Just for a moment try to imagine your life completely with out kids and realise it's not where you were meant to be. It's ok to feel a little trapped but you won't be forever, just take in all the new experience you get with children and remember you can study, work, travel, and when you go exploring the world you will be older, wiser and can stay in better places ;-)
My therapist said this to me, when you choose to make a family, you make a choice and I guess this applies to unintended pregnancies and children - you keep them you choose them. She then went on to explain that with this choice you have to put things aside for later and yes you may not get to do everything you want to. I understood this when I had my kids but my ex seemly doesn't and he has walked away from a family he very much wanted to at the time, but now when he has to give up things he blames me and ran away to enjoy his freedom. Yes I feel trapped especially know that I know I can not rely on the person I chose to spend my adult years with. I try and readjust what I want to free myself from the trapped feeling - it could be a coffee without kids so I will arrange that to happen asap within reason and that gives me a feeling of freedom.
I think almost everyone feels this way. Some mums are lucky and their partners let them 'escape' for a weekend, or grandparents are there to do the same thing.
Some of us however can't even do the shopping without the kids in tow. My man loves his kids but just doesn't get that sometimes I need ME TIME . I have 3 under 2, a 5yr old and a 10yr old.
I somedays wonder who I am, i feel like Im just a slave to him and the kids. But then i slap myself and remember they grow so quick. Someday soon mum won't be cool enough, no more hugs at drop off to school etc. And I tell myself that's when I'll find me.
I think we all at some stage feel trapped. But the responsibility needs to be shared.
My MIL said to just the other week, I NEVER left the kids with anyone but my mother and if she wasn't available I just didn't do anything. She forgot that she told me once that her mother lived with them throughout her kids childhood and teenage years and she was never restricted... But anyway.
Maybe ask close friends or family to look after the kids for a night or weekend and have some time with your partner. Rediscover romance, yourselves, your relationship.
Hang in there mummy. Your doin a great job xo