A couple of months ago I posted about grandparent death. Well I received a phone call this morning that my grandmother is in intensive care, she has septicemia and kidney failure. It's looking like she won't last long at all. My father is flying in tonight from interstate, so he can say goodbye. I've never had to deal with the death of anyone really close to me. I'm nearing 30 so that's a pretty good run I know. My issue is, how do I deal? I'm really upset at the moment and I need to function as a mother. I told my eldest that my grandmother (who we only seen a couple of weeks ago) will probably die. I did tell her gently and as age appropriate as I could. I don't think it would be fair if I just told her grandma died. My other two kids are too young to understand, so I'm mostly concerned about my 8yr old and my father who is a massive softy despite trying to be tough. And I'm worried for myself. I've never had to deal with this before. To be honest I don't even know what I asking, I just need to get it out so I can be strong when I need to be for my family.
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you :( it's not a nice thing is it.
I lost my aunt, my uncle and my grandmother in the space of nearly two years.
When I was about 8 1/2 months pregnant, I got a call from my dad that my very healthy grandmother (his mum) was in intensive care with kidney failure among other things and he was on his way to see her.. She lived only 40 minutes away but when she became ill, she had been on holidays and was a couple of days drive away.
The family all sat down and discussed wether or not to tell me because I'd already been having a hard pregnancy and was already under alot of stress.
My dad isn't one to show his softer emotional side and when I heard him choking up, I knew it was bad. The next two weeks were a huge struggle! I cried non stop all day, all night. My partner was a great support, but all I wanted was to be with my gran, but I couldn't travel.
The night she passed, dad was on his way back home on the train. He called my partner and told him before he got on the phone with me to break the news. I was heart broken. Sitting here writing this, I've now broken down in tears.
Seeing my dad cry and hurting was the hardest thing I've ever had to witness.
I knew I had to be strong, not only because I was pregnant, but also for my dad.
I was at his house every day, being with him really helped both of us. The support my partner showed was amazing! Without the love and support of my family, I wouldn't have gotten through it.
Two weeks before I was due, we had her funeral. Standing up to read out a poem, I just couldn't do it. I stood in front of everyone and just broke down, my sister took my hand and continued reading.
It is still so hard dealing with the loss of my grandma. The only thing I found that got me through it, was family. Just being in their company, talking about her, letting it all out and crying was the best thing possible.
Many make the mistake of not feeling like they can talk about a loved one that has or is passing.
Don't be afraid to tell your family you're not dealing with it well. Be honest and let them know you're struggling. They will definitely understand.
All the love and best wishes xoxoxox