Hi sisters
I need your advise and help! I'm extremely stressed and tired of this feeling. I'll try to keep it short but I know this is going to be long...
I'm currently going through the process of gaining a Recovery Order. My ex and his girlfriend of a couple of months decided to text message stating that he will no longer return my child.
We have a parenting order that was officially signed off by the judge in 2013 after the waiting period of 2 years (whether either party wanted to change or process a new parenting order-neither did) to which allowed myself with basically 70% of custody and a relocation order signed off and finished.
2 years into our relocation interstate (ex lived in NT, we moved to Sydney) we were still having trouble waiting for speech therapy and learning development programs (back dated to a couple of years) and waiting for appts weren't sufficient enough for my mr9yo and didn't want my sons progress to deteriorate, my parents offered to look after my son as a school near them had positions which included internal therapists coming twice a week, although they lived in NT. I agreed as I could financially support this and travel and my son wanted to live with his grandparents temporarily.
With the discussion of my ex he agreed as he could not keep up his part with the parenting order financially and thought it would be easier for him to see our son.
A year and a half into this temporary agreement, my ex has never visited my son at my parents house (doesn't want to and they're in the same state!) to which my parents and I keep up and maintain the original parenting agreement also (plus extra time if we ask him- he says no anyway), since birth never attended pick ups or drops off to schools, can't keep a stable job, has an extensive criminal record, never financially supported therapy or anything else, cut off $15 a fortnight for child support, has never attended therapy appts, doesn't even know if he has allergies and now through this recovery order I have come to find his girlfriend has an open case with Child Protection for her child and now wants to charge me for Defamation through my affidavits because of what I stated.
So far all contact has been via the girlfriend who has been extremely verbally abusive and not allowing any contact what so ever with my son. My ex hasn't said one word. No notification of what they're doing besides the text and no notification that they've moved also.
Until this process through court is done, my son is forced to stay with his father and his partner.
My son and I speak and FaceTime every day, since this has started we haven't been able to talk, I have visit him 4-5 times a year for extended periods, take him to school, do homework, still be his mum on the phone and when I'm there, and a month ago my son said he was ready to come home...Everything I have done is and always will be for the best interests of my son.
I don't know what I want out of this...help? Vent? Support? Similar cases?
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
2 Replies
Ok some basics.
For the order to be enforceable it has to actually have been followed up until now. If you can clear up what is specified in the order compared to what's happening with him moving in with your parents it would help. If you have 70% care and sent him to live with your parents though it does kinda void the order.
Your ex can't sue for defamation for what is in your affadavit. Its perjury or nothing and that is for the court to decide.
I dont blame you though darwin's paediatric early intervention teams are phenomenal and so much easier to access than the states.
Are there any ties with the CC's? Do you still have friends up there who can check old addresses etc?
Have you asked police to conduct a welfare check?
How are your parents holding up?
Although being as he is who he is chances are a recovery order will be issued. Which court did you apply too? The NT are usually pretty quick with these things.
Although I no longer have ties with staff so can't tell you where their backlog is at recovery orders take priority.
Can't pin point similar Cases but the NT magistrates are some of the most patient I have ever come across although like other states they dont like BS.
Its nerve racking waiting and not knowing what is happening to your son. Police would know where the ex is living...licences and all that...call them to do a welfare check. It might help.
I do have friends in CP but they deal with foster care placements.