So I'm facing down the barrel of my 30th birthday, and I'm undecided if I want to have kids or not. There are so many people who "just knew" they wanted to have kids. I'm not one of them, and I'm hoping there are other people out there like me. My question is, if you didn't always know you wanted to have kids, what made you decide to have them? Or, not have them?
Thanks :)
7 Replies
Nope I didn't. I was traveling and studying and partying And really enjoying my life. I guess I wanted eventually to have a family of some sort of structure but had never dreamt of babies and white weddings and settling down. I was in a long term relationship when at age 24 got pregnant and terminated. Later I was in a new relationship and accidentally fell pregnant, aged 33, but something just felt different, I decided to keep it And have never looked back, it's just my life path. Funny because only months earlier I was doting on my new niece and very seriously saying nope, Im happy to be aunt but I won't be next!
Funnily enough, I also fell pregnant the second time by accident too. I really think it's a subconscious thing, because I think maybe I'd never ever conscientiously decide to try and have a baby, it never seems The right time and there's so much other stuff I want to do. And I'm not really maternal, Im not into babies and mummy talk and all that stuff. But I'm a kickass mum, I do it my way and haven't regretted any of my decisions ever for one moment, I'll happily compromise my work /travel ambitions to accommodate them, it's impossible not to when your kids make your life so happy and full.
I had mine by accident! There was no plan. I hadn't spent my life planning or dreaming how many I would have. Now I have him I am rocking the mum thing, but I find it really hard work. Other than the odd yearning around ovulation I haven't felt in the least bit hard done by having just the one.
It's perfectly ok to not want children. It really isn't for everyone. It's the biggest decision and commitment you will ever make in your life. So if in doubt don't do it.
That doesn't mean you won't change your mind in a year or two. But for now unless there is an unplanned pregnancy don't worry about it.
There are plenty of other ways to have kids in your life other than birthing them. Being the fun auntie is awesome. You can do the cool stuff and hand them back. :)
I never was interested in kids, myself and my partner at the time had all these plans to go traveling then found out we where pregnant. We had two More kids after the first and Yes it put a hold on the travel plans but I would never regret our children.
I didn't want kids...then I accidentally got pregnant. I still don't want kids lol I don't even like kids, but I know one day mine will grow up and it'll be fine ;)
I was told by my doctor (at 25) it was now or never. I hadn't wanted babies but my husband did so I had a child. I love my baby but I hate being a mother and I regret my choice. Not everyone should have kids.
I'm almost 30 and have said since I was about 15 years old that kids husband weren't in my plan and still are the same.
Everyone said it will change and you know what I'm 30 at the end of the year and I'm planning on my next big adventure traveling somewhere.
My career is children based and I love kids I spend so much time with my nieces and friends kids but I know that I don't want to have my own.
1 I'm to selfish, I love traveling, going to the movies doing what I want to.
2 if I had a kid although I'd love it I think deep down I would regret it and that's not fair to a child.
3 I now understand that it's my choice and it's ok.
One day I think you will wake up and have made up your mind once and for all, that day came to me just after I turned 27 I know exactly where I was what I was doing when I knew. Good luck & I hope your happy with what ever you decide.
I am struggling with the same issue! Everyone keeps saying that I will change my mind but I am unsure that I will. I have been talking with a professional and that helps a lot. Makes you see things in a different view and makes you be true to yourself. Sorry i don't have an answer for you cause i also need an answer but all i can say is that you are not alone.