I don't feel like I'm coping as a mother and as a person. My daughter is 8 months old and I get so anxious and stressed out about everything. Today I went out for lunch with a friend and almost had a panic attack because my daughter kept squealing. When she doesn't feed or sleep in finding myself getting so frustrated and angry (I don't express it to my daughter).
I'm seeing a psychologist and have been given a script for antidepressants which I've been so hesitant in starting as I'm BF (have been told my numerous people that it's safe).
I feel lost, like I can't function. I can't go to the shops alone or anything. I'm not good at being a mum like I imagined I would be.
Everything is getting ontop of me and I don't know how to fix it.
I just want to enjoy motherhood without feeling so incapable and stressed out to the point where I'm crying in the parents room just because she won't feed.
I need a break or else I'm going to snap.
I don't know what I'm asking. I guess I'm venting.
5 Replies
Speak to your doctor. Antidepressants actually arent the most effective for anxiety disorders they are just the first thing they try even though of all psych drugs they are the hardest to start and have the worst withdrawal symptoms. There are alternatives.
If it is being prescribed by a GP get a referral to a psychiatrist. A GP can't prescribe anything else.
I have been in your situation and I was also resistant to taking antidepressants but it ended up being the best thing for me. I was on them for 5 months and then tapered off the dosage. Things are great now and everything is much easier. I'm happy to chat with you some more if you want to know more.
Please try the medication, it makes such a big difference.
also don't be afraid to ask a friend to watch your baby for a few hours etc so you can get a break. Being a new mum is bloody hard, it is usually nothing like you imagine it being.
You're most definitely not alone in how you feel.
I have had anxiety for as long as I remember, which got worse after my son was born.
I was the same as you. I was scared of going out in public. I was worried someone would judge me for the fact my son was always fussy. I was scared someone would attack me for breastfeeding. It was exhausting!
Seeing a psychologist helped. But what really worked for me was to take a step back and look at things differently.
I am not a perfect mother.
I screw up.
I make mistakes.
I am only human.
I can't control everything.
So instead, I focused on what I could control.
I said goodbye to the people who were bringing negativity into my life.
And I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
So I suggest the same to you. Take a step back and look at the big picture. Look at things from an outsiders point of view.
You'll never be a perfect mother. They don't exist.
So take a deep breath and relax a little. Make a mess, make mistakes, laugh and learn.
As long as your child is safe, fed, dry, and smothered in love, you're doing a great job!
And remember - don't feel guilty if you need to place your child in her cot and step into a different room go catch your breath. Parenthood is exhausting, and your health is just as important.
Good luck, IM. Hopefully the medication can help you cope and see things from a different perspective. x