Today is my EDD, I should be happy, anxious, tired, and over it. I'm not - it's sad, gloomy, and filled with thoughts of what ifs, a life gone to soon. I was 11 weeks when I lost our angel, now it's gone so fast. Each day is meant to get better and some days do, some come crashing down on me - today is one of those days. I dream about our angel some nights, she's a beautiful little girl, tiny and happy, I wake up feeling a little hand around my finger but its not real. So many others go through this, feel this, but they seem to cope - I often wonder how many of them put on that same brave face that I do. I don't cope well on days like this. Today is the day I remember a life that will never be and imagine what could have been. I pray today for my angel and all the baby's gone to soon that they are kept safe, feel no pain, and are held tight.
4 Replies
Huge hugs for you!! It is such a horrible thing to go through and you are allowed to grieve!! I have had multiple losses and they all hurt and I struggle daily and especially around each angels EDD. My last angel was due 2 wks ago. I found out I'm pregnant on the EDD. I'm praying its a sign this baby is a keeper sent by their big brother to comfort me.
You bought a tear to my eye, it is Ok to remember, it is Ok to wonder and it is Ok to be sad.
Make certain that you look after you and it might be worth getting some counselling, you may even have PND.
Please don't ignore your feelings they are all normal and while time may dull them they will never be completely gone.
You sound very self aware, but just be careful to listen to your positive inner voice not the negative one.
XXX
I had a miscarriage in 2009, my edd was the 14/10/09 and in 2011 I fell pregnant again due on te 14/10/11, I did however have a healthy baby born 10 days early but it was such an emotional pregnancy to have same conception date and edd, it's still hard some days but I must say I am blessed by the beautiful lil girl we have now!!
I'm so sorry for your loss I know exactly how you feel.
My due date was Thursday but my Angel was born sleeping at 26 weeks.
The hardest part for me was having to give birth knowing my little boy had already grown his wings and now with only 2 weeks till my sister has her bub I find it very hard!
Everyone grieves in there own way and no way is no right or wrong way!
Some days I don't cope at all I put on a brave face everyday.
I found just grieving my own way the best and just let it happen on it's own.
Talking to people that have been in the same position or a counselor helped, cry when I needed to. I planted a tree and light a candle every chance I get. My 3 year old is a sweet heart and if it wasn't for him I prob would have taken my own life.
Go get your hair cut and or coloured, get a massage. Find a hobby or do something in your baby's honor!
Hope you start to feel a little normal again soon! Thinking of you and just know your not alone.