My brother is having a baby we just found out the sex of bub and the name the mum has posted on fb the name with HER last name as the babies last name not outs. I dont believe this to be right. After talking to my brother he said its the grandmas influence because she believes that because there not married it should be th girlfriends last name which i believe to be bs. A child should always carry the fathers last name or hifinated. My brother has been there through the hole pregnancy and is still in a relationship with this girl. I dont no how to approch this or if i should. After any advice if possible please and thank you.
12 Replies
I disagree with you completely. There is no 'should' and she has as equal rights as him. Its their decision completely & you dont need to approach it. To me it makes more sense to go with hers so theirs is the same, it would make like so much easier for appts, hospital, everything. If later they marry & they choose to all have one name they can all choose who changes & to what.
I think its up to them what the babies last name will be. Wether you agree or not it's up to them and probably should stay out of it
It's their baby, not yours. You have no say whatsoever. If your brother has an issue, it's his issue. It's got nothing to do with you. There's no 'the baby should have the fathers surname'. My son has my surname because thats my surname & he's my son so I wanted him to wear my name proudly. I think it's rude that you even think you have a right to bring this up when it's not your child. If I were your sister in law I would be wondering who you think you are.
I disagree! It's none if your business anyway, and you should absolutely keep your nose out of it. It's between the parents. There is no right or wrong last name these days and hasn't been for over 30 years! My son born 20 years ago has my last name and it was considered no big deal back then either. I wasn't married to his father although still in a relationship but we decided it was more important I had the same lady name as I was more likely to be dealing with schools etc.
This really isn't any of your business .. This is entirely between your brother and his partner.
You should NOT interfere in their decision making, you will cause problems in their relationship and between yourself and your brother.
Step away and mind your own business. Relationships are difficult enough to negotiate through without a third person weighing in.
If you love and respect your brother, take a big step back.
You don't get to decide for other people whether their decisions are wrong or right.
All you need to do is offer love and support.
This really isn't any of your business .. This is entirely between your brother and his partner.
You should NOT interfere in their decision making, you will cause problems in their relationship and between yourself and your brother.
Step away and mind your own business. Relationships are difficult enough to negotiate through without a third person weighing in.
If you love and respect your brother, take a big step back.
You don't get to decide for other people whether their decisions are wrong or right.
All you need to do is offer love and support.
In the nicest possible way.... this is none of your business. It's between your brother and his girlfriend. And truthfully I don't really agree with your point of view.
with all due respect i think its between them, its their baby.
may I just ask why does it bother you so much? just so we can try and understand your side a bit more cos based on what you wrote it really is just their baby....
my partner wanted to give our kid my last name but i thought his flowed better... only reason i chose his. had my name sounded better we would have used mine
xo
And what if your brother leaves the mother.. Then she has to explain the child's surname to everyone when they call her by the wrong name..
If the parents get married later in the child's life the child's name will be automatically changed from hers to theirs..
My partner has the opposite issue, everyone asks why his daughter doesnt have the same surname as him. What happens if the above scenario occurs and the mother marries another man? What then? does the child then have to carry a surname different to both parents??? This is what my step daughter is facing at the moment and her mother has to explain the different surname anyway. At least if the child takes the fathers surname that is a constant that will never change and come on how hard is it to just say "oh thats their dad's surname" That said though if the father wants nothing to do with the child fair enough use your surname but otherwise it can just get soo messy later in life.
The logic of it or forward planning can be argued each way. Each side has equal say. Thats why it comes down to the parents, & only them, to decide together in each case.
If the mother marries.someone.other than her child's father, there is.nothing that says she has to change her surname... we're not living in the 1800's. There's nothing messy about it, it's their decision and really has.nothing.to do with anyone else including the OP.